Untitled Cinderella Retelling Second Chapter

To everyone who enjoyed the first chapter of my Cinderella retelling last week: You are all in luck!!

I was very sick the end of last week and this weekend, so I didn’t have time to work on a blog post (hence the absence of a Candor Fridays post. There were no questions and I figured not posting anything was better than attempting to write something in my fevered state. Though, that might have been fun, actually. You could all see how crazy I am when I’m completely out of it…)

Anyway! Since you all seemed to enjoy it so much, I thought I would post chapter two for you.

I will be posting on Friday, so be sure and get any question you might have to me! And, if you haven’t taken the time to fill out the reader survey, please do. I’ve gotten a lot of helpful feedback, but if I haven’t heard from you yet, I would like to know what you think!!

And, without further ado, the second chapter:

Chapter Two

Life at Whitehall grew more and more like a fairy tale every day. Ella could scarce believe her good fortune, that her mother had not only found someone so right, but one so good and kind, to accept her into his family, as his daughter.

Day passed into weeks and then months and she began to accept that this was not a dream, but truly her life.

Several months after she had arrived, Ella found herself quite alone and in need of something to do. She had on a gown of light green linen and felt very much like a princess. And so she determined she must do what she felt any good princess would. She would go exploring.

There were many parts of the grounds that she had not seen and she had never been told not to go. So, why should she not explore them?

Her first expedition she decided would be to discover what was behind the gate at the back of the garden. She had seen a few of the servants coming and going from there, but she had never actually seen what was beyond.

And as soon as the idea entered her mind, she knew she must do it or else go mad with the wondering. So, making sure her boots were laced tight and firm, and set out with determination to make her discovery.

She found, to her dismay, however, that the gate was locked. With a frown, she stood before it, hands on her hips, wondering what she was to do. Climbing the wall would not only prove most difficult, it would no doubt be deemed quite unladylike by her mother.

But, she knew not where to find the key. So, how was she to get to the other side? For, now that she had begun to wonder, she knew she must discover the gate’s secret before the day was out.

Her mother and Lord Bannering had gone out on business and Henry had locked himself in the library, a place Ella had learned never to disturb him. Edward too, was busy doing she knew not what. But he had apologized at breakfast and told her he must leave her to her own devices for at least part of the day.

She stood there a good many minutes, wondering what was to be done, when up came behind her one of the kitchen girls, a basket tucked under her arm.

Ella did not hear the girl until she was right behind her and the presence startled her. She jumped, letting out a cry of surprise as she whirled around.

The girl dropped a curtsy, letting out a little squeak herself. “Oh, miss, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Please, I do beg your pardon.”

Ella too, ducked her head, looking down at her feet and feeling most embarrassed for being discovered in a place she was not entirely certain she was allowed to be.

“I- I wasn’t doing anything wrong,” she hurried to offer as an explanation, though the girl had not indicated any need for one. “I just wanted to know what was on the other side of the gate.”

“Oh, that’s just the kitchen garden, miss,” the girl replied, looking up in surprise, then blushing a deep red and looking back at her feet as she offered an unnecessary curtsy. “And, there’s nothing wrong with you being here, miss. Not that I know of anyway.” She bit her lip and snuck a peek up at the girl. “I’ve got a key, if you want to take a peek in. I’m to be collecting the vegetables for supper, you see.”

“Oh, do you think it would be all right if I looked in?” Ella cried, so overcome with delight she forgot about being ladylike and holding back her excitement.

“I don’t see why not,” the girl replied as she pulled the key from her apron pocket. “Not that it’s much, really. Just vegetables and herbs and the like.”

She unlocked the gate and swung it open. Ella bounce up behind her, standing up on her tiptoes in an attempt to see over the girl’s shoulder. But, of course, it was to no avail as the girl was much taller than she, as she had at least eight or nine years on her.

But then, the girl stepped into the garden and Ella could see it all. The girl had not lied, it was truly just herbs and vegetables, but then, Ella had never seen herbs and vegetables before. And so she stood before the gate, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

Her wonder lasted not long, however, as she realized the girl had left the gate open and she was quite free to enter and explore, if she so desired. Which, she very much did.

She skipped down the rows of vegetables to where the girl was kneeling, pulling orange roots from the ground.

“Are those carrots?” she breathed. “I’ve never seen carrots in a garden before. They’re so beautiful.”

The girl laughed, getting caught up in Ella’s excitement and forgetting this was her master’s daughter and she had no place laughing with her. “I’ve never heard that said about carrot’s before. Here, do you want to pull them up?”

“Oh, may I?” Ella breathed, kneeling beside the girl. She was only vaguely aware of the cold, damp earth pressing against her knees through the fabric of her dress. The girl put her hand over Ella’s to help her and together they pulled a carrot from the ground.

Ella clapped her hands in delight. “May I pull another one?”

The girl laughed. “Just one more and then it’s onto beans.”

“I’m Ella, by the way,” Ella told the girl as she plucked the last carrot from the earth. “What’s your name?”

“Rosemary,” the girl told her. “My name’s Rosemary.”

They finished shaking the loose dirt from the vegetables they had picked and moved onto the bushed of beans.

“How many of these should we pick?” Ella asked.

“We want the basket about so full,” Rosemary replied, demonstrating with her hands about how many they wanted.

And, together the two went to work, both forgetting their stations and the fact that they had no business spending time with the other. The time passed with Ella asked all manner of questions about plants and vegetables and what exactly one did with them all and Rosemary trying her best to answer, even though she was only a lowly kitchen girl and nowhere near the knowledge of such things the cook or the gardeners would.

When all the vegetables were picked, Ella took one handle of the basket and Rosemary the other as they walked it back to the house.

In her enthusiasm, Ella had somehow managed to get dirt smudged on her dress, face, hands, and hair. So, when they returned to the kitchen, rather than either of them being scolded for associating outside their station, the cook merely took in the young girl, frowned, and muttered something about them always hiring help and not telling her about it.

Then she pointed to the ashbin and said, “Take that ‘round back and then see it’s washed out proper.”

“I don’t know how to wash it,” Ella said, biting her lip. She would tell the woman she wasn’t a maid, except, she had nothing better to do, and she was having so much fun. “Might Rosemary help me?”

The woman sighed, muttering again, about how useless the help they hired her was. Then she gave her permission and Ella and Rosemary carted the ashbin outside.

“You really oughtn’t to be doing this,” Rosemary told her, remembering just then who exactly this girl was. “You could get into trouble.” She didn’t mention how much trouble she could get into got helping her.

Ella adjusted her grip on the ashbin handle. “I don’t mind. There’s no one else to talk to and I like you. You’re awfully nice for a servant. Most of them won’t even say hello back when I try saying it to them.”

They reached the place where the ashbin was to be dumped and in her enthusiasm to help, Ella hefted the bin and started the dump it straightaway while Rosemary cried, “Not like that!”

But, alas, it was too late. The ashes puffed up in a cloud and both girls were engulfed in its embrace.

“Oh, I am sorry,” Ella cried through a coughing fit as her lungs tried in vain to find a full breath of fresh air. The ash cloud began to settle and both girls looked at each other. Ella started giggling first. “You’re covered in cinders.”

Rosemary too began to laugh. “So are you. You look a sight.”

“Ella?” The call came. The girls jumped at Edward’s voice.

“Oh, I have to go.” Ella grew panicked. “If they see me like this, I shall get into awful trouble.” She started to dart off but then stopped and turned back to Rosemary. “But, don’t worry, no matter how they press, I shan’t reveal the name of my accomplice. Thank you, for the wonderful morning.”

And then off she flitted, making sure to avoid the path Edward’s voice seemed to come from. Unfortunately, she did not realize Henry too was in the garden.

Not until she ran right into him. Quite literally.

“Whoa there,” he said, grabbing her shoulder as she tried to run away. “Ed, she’s over here. I found her.” He looked down at her, surveying her with a curious expression. “If Lady Bannermen were to see you like this, she would be sure to have a fit.

Ella felt her face grow warm under the layers of dirt and ash and she wished very much to be anywhere but there at that moment.

But, then Henry offered her a grin and said, “Which is why you should be grateful she isn’t here at present.”

Edward came up just then, took in the sight of her and laughed. “Do I want to ask what you’ve been up to today?”

She shook her head. “I shan’t tell you, even if you ask. I’ll not let you get my friend in trouble.”

It was only then that she realized they never would have known she was not alone if she had not told them. She drew in her lips, her eyes wide.

Edward continued to chuckle. “Then we shan’t ask, as it appears it would do no good. But, we must do something about your state before your mother returns.”

“I think we shall have to start calling you Ella of the Cinders,” Henry teased as they led her off toward the house.

“Or, Ella, the Cinder Girl,” Edward offered.

Ella bit her lip and ventured, “Cinder Ella?”

Both boys laughed at that.

“That’s perfect,” Henry said. “I think I like that one the best.”

“It’s settled then,” Edward said with an air of authority. “From hence forth, you shall be our Cinder Ella.”

Ella smiled at that, feeling warm all the way from, the tips of her ears and down to her toes. It wasn’t the kind of warmth she got when she felt foolish or silly or decidedly unladylike. No, this was the kind of warmth one felt when everything was perfect. 

Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear from you about what you think of it!! See you all on Friday :D

A Cinderella Retelling- a Snippet of My Writing

According to the survey, people want to see more of my writing... so, I thought I would post something fictional I've written, instead of a post about writing!

A while back I started working on a Cinderella retelling. It doesn't have a title yet and is far from finished. But, I'm sharing the first chapter with you anyway. So, enjoy and let me know what you think. If enough interest is expressed I'll post more.

But, for now, without further ado, Chapter One of my untitled Cinderella story:

Chapter One

Ella looked away from the carriage window to smooth the pale blue lace of her skirt. The smile that graced her face was uninhibited and radiating. She bounced a bit with joy as she looked over at her mother, who sat beside her.

“The dress is really mine to keep, Mamma?” she questioned for the tenth time since she had first been shown it. “They aren’t going to take it away from me, now that the wedding is over?”

The woman sighed and lifted a gloved hand to her temple. “No, Eleanor, they are not going to take it away from you. And, you shall have many others after we are moved to Whitehall.”

“You’re certain?” The girl sat at the edge of her seat, looking out the window once more as she asked the question.

“My dear, I would not lie to you,” Lady Bannering replied. “Now, do, please try to act like a lady. You must make a good impression.”

Ella sat up straighter, though her smile remained unwavering. “And, I’m truly to have brothers? Real ones?”

“Are there any other kind?” her mother asked, a note of exhaustion in her tone. “And, I would not get my hopes too high, my dear. They are your stepbrothers, after all, and might not afford you the affection of blood.”

But the woman’s words appeared to have fallen on deaf ears. “And, we’re all to live together, like a real family?”

“Yes, my dear,” her mother replied. “Now, do try to let Mother rest for a bit. It’s been quite a long day.”

The girl pulled in her lips and nodded, barely able to contain her mirth. She turned her attention back to the scenery outside the carriage and allowed the next hour to pass in silence.

She was unable to hold back, however, once Whitehall came into sight. As soon as her gaze fell upon the magnificent building she let out a breath of awe and said, “Mamma, did you marry the king?”

Lady Bannering reminded in her seat, not so much as glancing out the window. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I didn’t. Now, sit back, you’re acting most unladylike.”

It took every ounce of willpower for the girl to pull herself away from the window. She so badly wanted to take in every glance of this magnificent estate that she could. But, her mother’s words rang in her ears, the ones about making a good first impression and the desire for her new family to love her overtook her awestruck wonder of the place.

She sat back against the carriage seat, straight and tall as her little frame would afford her, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

“Do stop fiddling with your skirt,” her mother instructed. The girl folded her hands, clasping them so tight the knuckles turned white.

It took a full fifteen minute- and more patience than the little girl had- before the carriage came to a stop outside. The girl sat forward to jump out but her mother’s hand on her arm kept her from it. She looked to the woman, question in her eyes.

“A lady waits for the footman,” Lady Bannering instructed. “And, she allows her seniors to proceed her.”

The girl slumped back against the seat, hanging her head. “I’m sorry. How will they ever like me if I’m so terribly ill-bred?”

“Patience and attendance to your manners would improve matters,” her mother remarked as the carriage door was opened. She gave her daughter a pointed look before she accepted the footman’s hand and climbed from the vehicle.

Ella bounce in her seat while she waited for the footman to return for her. It seemed an age before he did and she fairly leapt for him, taking his hand and flying from the carriage.

Out on the gravel drive stood the man she had watched her mother marry not twenty-four hours ago. They had spent their wedding night in the capital and then he had left earlier the next morning to prepare for their arrival.

And now here they were. At their new home.

Ella’s feet hit the gravel and the footman released her hand before she had truly gained her footing. She stumbled and started to fall, when she felt strong hands about her. She was righted and a voice said in her ear, “Are you all right?”

She nodded, feeling her face grow hot to the tips of her ears. “Quite, thank you.”

The hands released her and she snuck a peek at her savior. The first thing she noticed was a shock of wild blond hair. It framed the face of a young man, perhaps twenty-one or twenty-two. At first, she thought perhaps he was a footman, but his clothes, she noted, suggested otherwise.

No, this could only be one of her new brothers. And, he had seen her nearly topple from the carriage! Her face grew even warmer and she looked down at her shoe once more.

“You must be my new sister,” the young man said, his tone not unkind. In fact, it was quite warm and friendly. He had even called her his sister. But then, he was surely only being polite.

“Yes, sir,” she replied in a small voice. “I’m Ella.”

“It’s Eleanor,” her mother corrected. “The girl insists on holding onto her childish nickname.”

Ella felt very small indeed and wished to be anywhere but here at that moment. What must her new family think of her? She shrank back, trying to become as far from the center of attention as possible.

“She is still a child, my love,” Lord Bannering pointed out. The man took a step toward her, bending down to her eyelevel and lifting her chin with a finger. She had no choice but to meet his gaze. “I think Ella is a perfectly beautiful name.”

She blushed once more, but this time from pleasure, not shame. She did not know this man well, as his courtship to her mother had been whirlwind and the two had spent much of it engaged in activities she was still too young for, such as balls and tea parties and the like. But the few times they had met, he had done everything in his power to put her at ease and she could not help liking the man immensely.

The man righted himself. “Now, then to properly introduce you, dear Ella, this is my son, Edward. I know not where his brother, Henry, is.” He glanced around, as if to see if the boy was somewhere nearby. “That boy…”

“Last I saw him, he said he would be down directly,” Edward informed him. “He should be but a moment.”

They saw no reason to wait for the young man out there on the gravel drive and so they retired inside.

“I’ve had your rooms prepared,” Lord Bannering informed them. “If you would perhaps like to freshen up before we tour the house.”

“Oh, yes please,” Lady Bannering requested. “I must look a sight after that ride.”

“You look beautiful,” her husband told her, an arm firmly about her. He drew her to him and kissed her nose. The woman blushed with pleasure and the two became wrapped up in themselves, leaving Edward and Ella alone.

The girl tried to shrink away, hoping that if Edward had better things to do, he wouldn’t feel obligated to remain with her instead. But, he did not forget her. Instead, he turned to her, offering her a smile. “I suppose that leaves me to show you to your room.”

“I don’t want to be of any trouble,” the girl said in a small voice, looking down to the hem of her rich gown.

Edward mimicked the motion his father had used not long before, tilting up her chin with one finger so that she was forced to meet his eyes. His own blue eyes danced merrily as he said, “But, what are brothers for, if not to assist their little sisters?”

She bit her lip and tried to look away, but it was hard, with his finger still under her chin. “Mamma said I’m not to get too attached to the idea of having brothers, as we’re only siblings by marriage, not by blood.”

“Well, it’s always good to listen to your mother,” Edward agreed slowly. “But, I think even she would agree this is a much better arrangement for everyone.” Then he offered her a smile so contagious she could not help but smile too.

A ruckus was heard on the stairs and both turned their attention in that direction to find another blond young man descending the stairway. His face was flushed, as if he had run in a great hurry, and he was younger than Edward, perhaps fourteen or fifteen, Ella would guess. Whatever the case, both were a good deal older than her nine years.

“Wherever have you been?” Edward demanded of his brother.

Henry skipped the last three stairs, hopping straight to the floor. He made the last few steps to close the gap between himself and Edward and Ella. He began all in one breath, “It took me longer than I thought. I was in the library and-”

“Never mind, I don’t want to know,” Edward said, holding up a hand to stop him from saying anything further. “You missed the new Lady Bannering, but this is our sister, Ella.”

Henry offered her a lopsided grin. “Oh, hello. I’m Henry. Do you think Father’s mad at me for missing them coming, Ed?”

“He probably was,” his brother replied. “But, he’s too caught up in his bride to care about much else right now, so you’re good.”

The young man let out a sigh of relief. “Thank heavens.”

Edward offered Ella his arm. “Well then, shall we show this young lady to her new room?”

Ella bit her lip in embarrassment but took the offered arm all the same. The house was much bigger than the one she had lived all her life and certainly more splendid. It was all she could do to keep up with

Edward while they walked, as she wanted to keep stopping to admire every beautiful thing. Only the thought that she did not want to embarrass herself further and that this home was to be hers and she would have amble opportunity to enjoy it kept her from doing just that.

They finally stopped outside a room and Edward opened the door. Ella stood in the doorway, her eyes wide and mouth open. “Is- is this really to be mine?” she breathed. “Surely you are teasing me.” She turned to Edward, hurt and pleading in her eyes. “Oh, please don’t tease me so.”

“I’m not teasing,” Edward said with a smile. “They’re yours, for as long as you are to live here.”

The girl could not contain herself, so overcome with immeasurable joy was she, that she threw her arms around her new brother and squealed.

After a moment she realized what she had done and jumped back as she released him, her face redder than it had been all day. “Oh my. I- I am sorry. I- I wasn’t- that is- I didn’t- Oh, I’m sorry.”

Edward offered her that grin of his. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, little one. I told you, I am to be your brother. And, Father will be very glad to hear the room is to your liking.”

“Oh, it is,” she hurried to assure him. “I’ve- I’ve never seen a room so fine before. And, it’s to be mine? Truly?”

“Those are your trunks, are they not?” Edward said, nodding to the luggage on the far side of the room.

The girl had not seen them before, in her awestruck examination of the room, but indeed they were hers. “I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it,” Edward said, clucking her chin. “And, while you’re at it, why don’t you freshen up? Luncheon will be soon and then Father will no doubt want to give a tour of the estate.”

He left her then, and Ella danced over to the bed, jumping up and flopping herself down on the mattress, which she discovered was softer and more heavenly than any she had ever slept on. She closed her eyes and drew in a contented sigh.

She had never known life could be very, very perfect.

And there you have it! Let me know what you think. And, make sure you get your questions in for this Friday!

Pausing an Idea- Candor Questions

Hello, faithful readers! One question for this week:

Emily asked: As you may have gathered from my last email, I'm writing a novel. however, I've come to writers block and, in the midst of it, I've come up with an idea for a new story, one I'm really enthusiastic about. I was only a couple of chapters into my other story, and am beginning to wonder whether or not I should even continue with it. Is it a bad idea to pause the story I'm currently working on and start the other?  What do you suggest?

I’m actually a really bad person to ask this because this is something I do all the time.

All the time.

But then, maybe that makes me a good person to ask.

Hm…

Anyway! There are a lot of variables to determine what you should do and ultimately you are the one who has to make the decision. But, hopefully, my response will make the decision easier for you.

For me, whenever I hit writer’s block I’m usually excited about a new story idea. And, more often than not, I drop the one I’m working on and jump headfirst into the new idea. This can be bad for a number of reasons, but it has also worked for me on several occasions.

It can be bad because oftentimes I don’t go back to the first story. I say I’m going to “pause” but it really ends up being that I quit. And my poor first several chapters are left abandoned. It’s also a bad habit to get into because once it becomes a habit it’s hard to actually push through and finish something rather than chase every plot bunny who hops in your direction.

But, there have been other times where I have been so stressed about a story that I just have to write something else. Anything else. And so I’ll set the first story aside and work on something new. And, I have written a good many stories this way. So, it’s worked on several occasions.

Personally, I would recommend pushing through on the first story. It's tough, it's not fun, it can even be really boring at times, but it's life. If you haven’t read my post about writer's block you might want to check it out.

Something I would recommend, since you are passionate about your new idea is to get a notebook or a new document on your computer- depending on your preferred method- and write down anything you want about the story. A first chapter, character outlines, notes on what you want to happen. Just write whatever comes to you until you’re completely dry. This way you’ll have notes when you want to go back to this idea and won’t lose everything you were thinking while you work on the first idea.

The two cases I would recommend quitting the first idea for the second are: if you’re stressed or if you have major plot holes you can’t figure out. Both of these are cases where you need to take a step back and get a fresh perspective. And the best way to gain a new perspective is to set your story aside and come back to it at a later date.

If you do decide to pause the first idea for the second, I would recommend making notes on what you have planned for the first idea, if you don’t already have them. I tend to forget this step and then when I go back to an idea, I don’t have a clue what I was planning. You think you’re going to remember, but put enough time and excitement about another project between you and the idea and you’d be surprised how much you don’t remember.

And that’s that! I’ll see you all on Monday, as usual.

In the meantime, if you would consider taking a quick survey about my blog and let me know how I’m doing and what you would like to see from me in the future, I would greatly appreciate it. You can either put your name on it or don’t, your choice. And, please be honest. I won’t be offended by your feedback, I promise!

To take the survey, go here

Is Your Prologue Cheating?

Prologues. Young and beginning writers seem to love them. And, there is nothing wrong with adding one to your story. In fact, they can be very helpful!

But, the problem with them is that young writers oftentimes use them to cheat. They don’t realize it, but their use of prologues is really lazy writing and people can sense that. So, the reader skips the prologue.

Which, for a writer is always bad. If your reader skips something, you’re doing something wrong.

But, how is the prologue lazy writing? How do people use it to cheat?

I’m glad you asked!

• Info Dumps

I talked about this a while back. An info dump with when you dump a large amount of information on the reader, instead of letting the necessary info work naturally into your story. Many young writers I know use prologues as a means to dump the entire history of their fantasy world on their readers.

The problem with this is that people’s first impression of the book is a boring history lesson they don’t really care about. They don’t know your world or characters so they have no reason to invest their time and energy into remembering any of it. But, the writer usually treats the prologue as the only means in which they convey the necessary info. They assume at the beginning of chapter one that the reader read the prologue and has all the information they need.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. I know a lot of people who skip the prologue. If they don’t find it interesting enough, they just move on to chapter one. But then, they’re so confused because they don’t understand the world’s history that they often end up not finishing the book or enjoying it very much.

Or, the reader opens the book, starts reading the prologue, gets bored, and quits. They never even make it to chapter one.

• A Teaser to Make Up for a Boring Beginning

Another common thing I see in prologues is that the writer uses it to draw the reader in with some super exciting opening. The prologue is so compelling that the reader just has to keep reading.

But then when chapter one starts is slow and uninteresting and it takes a while before the action picks back up.

It’s like the writer wants the reader to know the book is going to be exciting so they tease the reader with action at the beginning to make up for a boring first couple chapter, hoping the reader will stick around because of how much they enjoyed the prologue.

But, often times, readers will put the book down because they’re no longer interested or they’ll skip until they find something exciting. At any rate, they’re less likely to recommend the book to anyone, or, if they do, they pull down the rating because of the slow start. So, while you may have hooked the reader with your prologue, it’s really just a lazy excuse not to work on the opening chapters to make them more interesting.

• Innocent Jumps to Warrior

We have all read at least one of these books- the one where the writer goes to great lengths to convince us  that the main character is a sweet, innocent person at the start of the book- whether they’re a child or just a sheltered young adult.

Then over the course of the prologue something happens to the character. Their village is burned. Their parent is killed. They’re kidnapped. Something terrible.

And then the writer ends the prologue with this a paragraph or line or something that indicates the character’s innocence has been stripped away. They are now so jarred by the realities they are facing that they are no longer the person they were on the opening page. A dramatic picture of that would look like the main character’s eyes going red and them silently vowing to have their revenge no matter the cost.

And then chapter one starts some time later when they’ve become a strong warrior or the like, doing things the sweetheart on the first page never would have dreamed of doing.

Then problem with this, is that we’re introduced to one character in the prologue and another in the first chapter. Only, we’re told they’re the same person. But, as have to take the writer’s word for it because we didn’t actually get to see the change from innocent to warrior. We saw the first seed of it, but oftentimes, the character is so different that the reader is left wondering how the transformation happened. How did the innocent from page one become this mighty warrior? How did they do from the character who wouldn’t hurt a fly to the person we see now who is killing people in battle left and right without a second thought?

There’s nothing wrong with this transformation. But, writers tend to use it as a means to explain what happened without giving the readers the emotional payoff they desire. They use it almost opposite an info dump, giving so little details that the reader is left with too many questions.

If you are going to use this sort of prologue and then spend the rest of the book exploring the emotions of the character, slowly providing the reader with the answers they want, that’s great and can be very effective.

But, if you’re going to use this and then only mention the transition once in that scene around the campfire and then again in the black moment or showdown, it’s cheating in the character development department. You can’t just explain away the character’s emotions- or lack of them- by a traumatic experience. By putting it into the book, you promise your readers it’s something you’re going to deal with. If it’s nothing more than a fancy info dump, drop it. Because nobody wants it.

This can go the other way too, with a bad guy in the prologue who vows to become good and then the next scene he’s helping widows and orphans and you’re left wondering how the change happened. Though, usually, this is dealt with better because very often his past comes back to haunt him and the writer deals with change over the course of the book. Like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables

• We Don’t Know Who to Love

Another way writers tend to use prologues is to add that scene the main character would have no way of knowing about. Or, to add that scene from twenty years ago that was important. There’s nothing wrong with the scene, it’s well written and engaging and leaves the reader wanting more.

But then chapter one starts and we’ve got a whole new set of characters to learn about and the reader suddenly has to start over.

I am very character driven, as you probably know if you have read even a few of my other posts. So, when I encounter a prologue like this, I have a hard time because I’ve become attached to the characters in the opening pages.

Then chapter one comes and said characters are nowhere to be found. It’s as if the writer promises one set of characters in the prologue but then say “Just kidding! Here’s the real set of characters.” And the reader is left wondering if getting attached to them is wise as they’re now unsure if this set of people will get taken away from them without warning as well.

Or, the prologue is about the villain and the reader is left wondering who they’re supposed to care about in the scene and if these are the good guys or the bad guys. You throw a character into a scene, which is told from his perspective, a lot of times, and assume since he’s doing bad things that the reader will know he’s the villain.

But, let’s face it. The anti-hero is very popular right now. So, the reader is left wondering if the person they’re reading about is the hero and if they’re supposed to be supporting these decisions.

Either way, the reader is confused about who they’re supposed to care about. And, the opening pages of your book are critical when it comes to introducing your characters and making your readers care about them. Don’t waste your pages confusing people.

How about you? How do you feel about prologues? Do you use them in your writing? Are there any ways they can be used as cheating that I’ve forgotten?

Are You Using Pinterest Right as a Writer?

I love Pinterest. I love it for a variety of reasons, but when it comes to storyboarding and working on a new ideas, I find it’s beyond helpful.

It’s also a powerful marketing tool, the Pinterest storyboard. It’s a way to reach readers who use that medium and get them interested in your story. A well-developed storyboard could be the thing that ultimately causes your reader to become interested in your story.

I know there are a dozen or more stories I am dying to get my hands on because of the storyboard the writer has for them. But, there are also plenty of stories I would probably never read because of their board.

Why?

I’m glad you asked!!

Here’s a few tips for things you should never do in a Pinterest storyboarding that will help draw readers in and make your boards more appealing:

• Don’t Wait Until You’re Ready to Publish to Do This

This one isn’t necessarily a way to make your board more appealing, but it will certainly make your book so. Instead of creating a board when you are finally ready to share your masterpiece with the world, start now. Drum up interest so when you are ready you will have many buyers lined up already.

There are plenty of boards I follow whose book I would buy in an instant if I saw a pin to buy the book. But, if I saw the option to buy when I first discovered the board, I might not be as inclined to buy the book.

You want to drum up readers now, get people interested and talking about your idea. Get them excited so that when you are ready to publish, people will be eager to buy your book.

• Don't Forget to Check Your Descriptions

The worst thing you can do in a storyboard is forget to check your descriptions before you pin something. People are looking at the board to see what your story is about and it is by far better to have no descriptions than someone else's. If it's a piece of art and the description is crediting the author, it's considerate to keep that there. But, otherwise, take it out. It bogs down the board and confuses the readers. Which is something you don't want.

• Don’t Just Include Pictures of Actors Who Look Like Your Character

So many times when I look at a board, it’s just a bunch of modern day snapshots of famous actors and the caption is simply a name that I presume is the character’s. This doesn’t give the reader any idea of what your story is about, it just tells them who you would cast if they ever make a movie of your book.

Which they won’t if you can’t get people interested in it.

It’s okay to include a few pictures like that. It gives people a feel for what the character looks like and who they are. But, if you want to pique people’s interest, you need to include more than that.

• Don’t Post Major Spoilers

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been scrolling through a storyboard that I really like and I come across a caption that reads something like “At the end, when Brian dies.”

Which means I haven’t even read a word of your story, but I now know Brian dies at the end. And, from your board, I know the gist of who Brian is and I like him. But, since I know he dies when I start reading your book that will always be in the back of my mind. Which will either cause me to put down the book because I like him too much to know he’s going to die or it will cause me to become emotionally detached because I know what’s going to happen.

Either way, it’s not good for your book. And, the emotional scene you’ve got planned goes downhill and doesn’t pack anywhere near the punch you want it to. Because you spoiled it for your readers.

If you want to save a bunch of pins that remind you of spoilers, secret boards are great for that.

• Don’t Post a Bunch of Research Stuff

Have you ever been looking at a board and really loving it and then bam! you come across a chunk of pins that are all links to research sites? If you’re looking for research sites, it’s awesome, but if you’re looking for information about the story, it’s boring to scroll through all the pins about fashion in the 1880’s or western slang.

Or, even worse, your reader might get distracted with these sites and forget they were even looking at a storyboard. Which is bad for you, as a writer.

If you want to save research pins, I would recommend creating a separate board just for those sorts of pins. That way, if someone is looking for those sorts of pins, they can scroll through your board. But, your readers won’t have them interrupt their browsing.

• Don’t Leave the Description Section Blank

The description section is there for a reason. I am more likely to browse a storyboard with a description because it helps give me context as to what the story is about. And, I know it’s something I’m interested in.

If you’re scared of your idea being stolen, you don’t have to put a lot. Just enough for your reader to understand what’s going on. Even if you just put a high concept (i.e. Greek Mythology Meets Modern Day High School or Modern Retelling of Hades and Persephone) then whoever is browsing your board gets an idea of what’s going on.

Or, you can post a short synopsis if you like. Try to be mysterious and intriguing. Don’t explain your story, drop hints about it. Don’t tell the reader what they’re in for, pique their interest. Draw them in.

For example, which sounds better to you?

Death and Karma meet at a conference and butt heads. When they’re forced to work together sparks fly because of their opposite personalities.

or

He was the picture of ultimate neutrality. He did not decide when people would die, he merely carried out the sentence. She was a judger of men, divining thoughts and intentions. They were never meant to fall in love.

• Don’t Keep Your Work Hidden Away

It’s really good to share your writing with people. You could have the best idea ever but if people don’t know if you can write, then why would they want to buy your book? Draw your readers in with some of your best lines and quotes from your story. Make sure they’re good ones that represent the book and also show off your talent. They don’t have to be long- even just one of two sentence- but it will give the reader a feel for your writing style.

Writers are oftentimes scared of sharing any tiny piece of their writing online because it might get stolen. Most people who pin things, I’ve come to realize, don’t even pay attention to the caption when they pin it, so your little snippet of writing could be pinned all throughout cyberspace and no one would ever know the quote came from you.

You can always add your name at the end of the quote. Some people even add a little copyright symbol which you can get by holding the alt key and pressing 0169 on the side number pad of your computer.

Or, if that’s not your thing, Pinstamatic is a great resource. You can go to the text section and punch in your quote and then add your name at the bottom. No one can remove it that way and people are more likely to repin it that way. You can even link it back to your blog or website once it’s pinned. Just go to the “edit pin” option and change out the pin source to your site. And then every time the pin is clicked on it will link back to you.

• Don’t Leave Your Cover Photo the Same

If you don’t know how to change to cover photo of your boards, it’s really simple- go to your profile, pick the board you want to change the cover on, click the “edit” button underneath the board, and click “change cover.” Then pick the picture you want and you’re done.

It’s really important to do this because this is the first impression people will have of your book. The cover photo is by default the first thing you pin. And, that doesn’t always represent your book the best or sometimes the picture’s too big to fit into the cover properly and it gets cropped or cut off.

Once you’ve worked on your board some, make sure you go back and change the cover. Pick the picture of quote that best represents your book. And, keep in mind that color scheme also plays a part in the picture. If you’re book is light and upbeat, pick something colorful. Don’t pick the quote that’s white lettering on a black background because people will get a more serious impression of your book.

And there you have it! Some easy measures to take to make your board more appealing to readers. Now all that’s left is for you to actually get the book finished so you can share it with the world! :D

How about you? Do you have any good tips or tricks you use to make your boards more appealing and marketing worthy?

Not Really Candor Fridays

Hello, Readers!

I planned to post today but didn't get any questions :/

So, no real post but I wanted to stay in contact to let you know I will be posting more regularly from now on (I have my post for Monday all written already!).

Also, I'm going to be giving my blog an overhaul and there will be some exciting new features coming soon as well some exciting news not too far off down the road!

I hope you will all stick around and share this with me. If you have any feedback you would like to provide (topics you would like me to post on or features you'd like to see) please feel free to drop a comment below or email me at jennifersauer73@gmail.com

See you all on Monday! :D

Virtues, Blogging, and Critiques- Candor Fridays

To everyone who has been wondering if I’m alive, I have good news for you: I am. Alive. Mostly.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I posted! I don’t even have an excuse. I just haven’t posted. But, I’m back on schedule starting today!

And so, without further ado, this week’s (okay, all my back up from the last month) questions!

Harpley asked: What virtue (such as humility, honesty, loyalty, etc.) do you respect the most in a fictional character, (or, alternatively), do you find a specific virtue showing up in a lot of your own characters?

Okay, this on stumped me, I’m not going to lie. And, after much consideration, I’ve got an answer. Sort of.

For me, there isn’t one virtue I respect the most. Looking at some of my favorite characters, I can’t seem to find a common thread. Like, I have loved Edmund Pevensie for many year because of his humility. But then, I love BBC’s Robin Hood and I really wouldn’t apply the word humility to him. So, no, there isn’t one virtue I respect the most.

That said, I will add that for me, a hero needs a strong moral code. I am not and never will be a fan of the anti-hero. If he doesn’t have a moral code or if he does things that are immoral, I can’t respect him as a hero. I might love him for other parts of his character, but he will never be a hero to me.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessarily a fan of the stereotypical hero mold. I am not saying you have to do that in order for your hero to be a hero. In fact, I like heroes who challenge my moral code with their own. For instance, the hero of one of my favorite movies- Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon- does things that make me doubt he’s a hero all throughout the movie. But when push comes to shove, in the end, you realize everything he’s done is because he’s been working toward setting things right.

And then, when I look back on what he’s done, I go, “Why did I think what he was doing was wrong? He was working toward saving the day…” and I realize a lot of what I didn’t agree with is some sort of code that’s been ingrained in me that I don’t know why I believe.

So, strong moral code and the attitude of doing what’s right in the end.

And, as for reoccurring virtues I find in my characters a lot, does a good sense of humor count? Because, otherwise, again, I can’t seem to find a common theme…

Elly asked: How do guest posts work? Do you just ask someone to post on your blog? Does it have to be another blogger?

I have not actually done guest posting before, but I have read up on the subject a good deal while doing marketing and publishing research.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Usually, the blogger who wants to guest post will do the asking. Let’s say you’re blog is dedicated to fish. If there was a fish expert looking to get their name out there, they might ask if you were interested in them posting something. That way, you have content and they get their name out there. It generally is another blogger, because it gets their own blog out there when you link their post back to them.

However, this is just internet blogging we’re talking about. So, there aren’t specific rules. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to guest post. I know a lot of people would probably be glad they didn’t have to initiate. And, if they aren’t a blogger, but have something to say, then by all means, as long as you credit the writer, you can ask them to guest post.

Essentially, it’s your blog and you can do whatever you like. No one is going to judge you or gasp because you’ve committed some huge internet blunder if you don’t follow the standard method. But, normally, it’s bloggers asking other bloggers if they might be able to post something on their blog.

Doug asked: When you've been blown away by constructive criticism that you know is valid, as I was last week regarding a novela I'm writing, what helps you to rework the passage when you really think that the current rendition was good enough?

At first, I was unsure how to answer this. But, after rereading it, I discovered you answered it yourself, with the wording.

The question to ask yourself is: is “good enough” good enough for you?

As writers it’s so easy to say, “The scene was good enough as it was. Why do people want me to change it?” And, we may very well be right. The scene probably is good enough. If we didn’t make any changes it wouldn’t bring the book down or cause people to stop reading. Some people might even enjoy it.

But, it might not be the best it can be. It could quite possibly be the best scene in your book, if you reworked it. It could be people’s favorite scene or the scene that makes them love the book. It could be the scene they best remember.

Or, it could be less obvious than that. The reader might not realize it was that scene that made them want to keep reading. They might not realize how much the scene adds to the story. It might be subtle and add layers in ways you or the reader can never grasp. But, it will be there, in the back of their mind, adding something.

So, the thing we writers need to ask ourselves, when we receive criticism like this is to ask ourselves “Is good enough good enough? Or do I want this scene to be the best it can be?”

Then we bite the bullet and set to work reworking the scene we thought we’d never have to touch again.

And, there you have it faithful readers! If you have any questions you would like answered, be sure to drop me an email by next Friday!