Why Anna is the Most Underrated Disney Heroine

Here’s to Heroines Special today! I didn’t have an ender for the series and I had this written and I thought it tied in nicely, since it’s about a strong heroine. So, enjoy!

She’s not like Elsa or Rapunzel or Belle. Elsa thinks she needs to be shut away for the protection of those around her. Rapunzel thinks she needs to protect herself. Belle is protecting her father.

But Anna, she doesn’t know why she’s shut up. And, it’s even worse. Because in her mind she and Elsa should be shut up together. They are both cut off from the world. Anna doesn’t know it’s because of Elsa. So she thinks that she’s not only cut off from the world, but her sister is also shutting her out.

So often you see fanart and such that reminds us how much Elsa thought she was a monster. But, I can’t help wondering if Anna felt the same way. Did she sit outside her sister’s door, wondering what on earth she had done to be cut off this way? Was she some horrible person? Had she done something? What was wrong with her?

I cry every time I hear “Do You Want to Build a Snowman.” Not because Elsa is shut in her room, but because Anna is shut out of it. She’s standing at her sister’s door, crying out to her, begging her to open it. And every time she’s rejected.

What is wrong with her? What did she do? Why would her sister shut her out this way?

And then, on Coronation Day, Elsa sees her sister for a few moments, tells her she can’t marry the guy she thinks she loves, and then storms off (literally) while freezing the kingdom.

First of all, that scene where they’re talking and Elsa says something to her and Anna’s all surprised? Breaks my heart every time. Because this is the first time her sister has spoken to her, accepted her, drawn her in. Every other time, she’s shutting her out, either with her words or her lack of them. But today, she’s engaging with her, they share an adorable sister moment. Imagine how Anna must have felt.

But then, Anna finds what she thinks is true love. You have to remember, she’s been locked away for years. Alone. And she doesn’t understand why. Everyone has shut her up, shut her out. But not Hans. Hans understands her. He accepts her. He doesn’t make her feel like a monster, like she’s not good enough, like there’s something the matter with her.

For the first time in forever her feelings are actually reciprocated. Someone loves her.

And then Elsa tells her she can’t marry him. Elsa once again shuts her out. She cuts Anna off, makes her feels like a little girl, reprimands her in a way she has no right to. Yeah, she’s her older sister, but they haven’t spoken more than a few words in years.

So yeah, Anna’s mad. She’s past thinking there’s something wrong with her. There’s something wrong with Elsa. Elsa is shutting her out. Elsa is being a jerk. Elsa has done nothing but cut her off and shut her out and ignore her and push her away and make her feel things a sister should never make her sister feel. What right does she have to tell Anna how to live her life?

And then BAM! she reveals her powers. And she kind of freezes the whole kingdom. She runs away. Once again, she shuts Anna out. Anna has to seeks her out, she’s not there. She runs from Anna. Once again, she pushes her sister away.

But this is why I love Anna. This is why she is the most wonderful heroine, in my mind.

Because she goes after her sister.

Elsa has done nothing but push her away. She’s hurt Anna, she’s shut her out, she’s denied her happiness over and over and over again. Anna could have looked for a way to stop the kingdom from freezing. She could have married Hans and become queen.

But instead she goes “Oh, that’s why she shut me out.” Instead it all clicks. Instead she takes responsibility. She made her sister upset. She hurt her. It’s her fault the kingdom is frozen.

Anna didn’t do anything wrong. All her life she’s done the right thing, reaching out to her sister, trying so hard to be her friend, to understand. And now she does. So, who cares about the past? In Anna’s mind, this is a fresh beginning. She understands now. Now that Elsa’s secret is out, there’s no reason for her to hide any longer. They can be friends again.

So she goes after Elsa. This is the girl who has been locked in a palace her whole life. Yet, nothing daunts her in her quest to finds her sister. Not terrible weather, not wolves, not a grumpy ice man, not even giant cliffs. Nothing will stop her from finding her sister.

And, when she finally does finds her, Elsa shuts her out once more. But Anna is standing in front of her sister. For the first time in forever they’re standing face to face, just the two of them. And she’s not going anywhere. She has dreamed of this moment for years. Day after day she sat outside or walked past Elsa’s door and she dreamed of the moment when Elsa’s door opened to her.

And now that it has, she’s not going anywhere. She’s not going to be shut out again.

But then Elsa does the thing she does best. She doesn’t mean to, but she’s afraid. So she hurts Anna once more. She freezes her heart and sends a giant snow monster after her.

Anna has tried and tried and tried to do the right thing. She has pushed and pushed to be in her sister’s life. For years she’s been shut out but she still keeps trying. She loves her sister. No matter how many times Elsa shuts her out Anna still keeps trying.

And Elsa hurts her every time.

I’m not trying to make Elsa out to be cruel or some horrible person. Because I know Elsa does not want to hurt her sister. She thinks everything she does is protecting her. But Anna has no idea. In her mind, Elsa is kind of the villain of this story.

But she does not give up hope for her. She doesn’t forget the days when they were friends. She pushes and pushes and pushes for those days to come back. She wants to be her sister’s best friend again. She has been nothing but hurt for years, but she never once gives up hope.

So, the last time Anna saw her sister, she was trying to kill her. At least, Anna must feel that way. But that showdown scene, Anna is standing there, it’s storming all around her, she just found out that the person she thought loved her didn’t. She’s been shut out again. Just like she has for the last so many years of her life.

But she sees it, across the ice. Hans, with his sword raised, about to kill Elsa. Her sister. The girl who tried to kill her. But also the sister she has so many childhood memories of. The sister she has spent years being cut off by. But the girl she has been trying to be best friends with for the same amount of years.

As far as she knows, Elsa is a monster. You have to remember that. Elsa has done nothing but hurt people. She has caused nothing but trouble. And it’s quite possible that killing her will also kill this storm that is overtaking her kingdom.

But while Anna may be a princess, she was never raised as one. She was never taught to put her kingdom first or to think of her people. She spent her entire life caring about Elsa. Her sister is the one who holds first place in her heart. No matter what she has done, no matter what else she is, Elsa is her sister.

And Anna loves her.

So often people think Anna sacrificed herself for her sister. And she did. But they ignore the fact that she also sacrificed herself for the monster. For the person who has done nothing but hurt her. Who has done nothing but hurt everyone. I would give my life for my sister in a heartbeat. But then, she’s never hurt me.

Not like that.

We’re sisters, so yeah, we’ve fought. We’ve hurt each other. But, in the end, she’ll always build a snowman with me. In the end, I’ll always open the door for her.

I honestly can’t say that I would give my life, so quickly, so easily, for someone who hurt me the way Elsa hurt Anna. I don’t think that my first thought would be to jump between her and the man trying to kill her. I would hesitate. I would have to think about it, to make a decision, and by then it would be too late.

Anna doesn’t hesitate. She doesn’t have to think or consider or argue with herself. No matter what Elsa does, she’s always her sister. Never the monster, never the girl who hurt her, but her sister.

Even Belle- the best Disney Princess ever- doesn’t go that far. She gives up her life, yes. But for her father. Who adores her. I’m not belittling her sacrifice, because it’s beautiful, and I cry every time I watch that scene. But, Anna, she goes even farther than that.

Everyone wants to praise Disney for their character development with Elsa. She’s complex, she’s strong, she doesn’t need a man.

Anna doesn’t need a man either. Anna needs someone in her life. And ultimately, she needs (and wants) Elsa. She looks to Hans because he’s giving her the attention she has craved for years and years. She’s been shut out, she’s been alone, she’s been hurt. And suddenly he comes along and offers her exactly what she wants. Can we fault her for falling for him? If it had been a girl, if another princess had come along and offered Anna friendship, we would understand.

And, is Elsa really strong and independent if she only hurts the people around her? She’s not a strong and independent female. She’s a hurt and confused young woman who learns to be a strong and independent female.

But Anna, she remains steadfast. Through all of her sister’s learning and growing, she’s there, never giving up on her. How often do we consider giving up on someone? How often do we wonder if people can really change? Are they even worth the trouble if they can? Is my heart an acceptable price? Should I let them continue to hurt me?

I’m not saying you should let people hurt you. Whether you remain faithful to someone who has hurt you or walk away is a decision only you can make, with God’s help.

But, I don’t think there are enough stories of such selflessness in the world. We’re taught that strong women walk away. You hurt me, I hurt you. Or, you hurt me, I’m gone. We don’t teach people to fight, to stand by someone who has hurt them because they were once your best friend. We teach people to let go. We’re so cynical in this world, so ingrained with the idea that people can’t change, not truly.

But people can. Only through the grace of God, but they can change. As Christians, we should be able to look at a person who has hurt us and forgive them. A person is always worthy of our hope that they can change. Never give up on someone. Even if things are so bad you have to walk away (Anna had to run away from Elsa- she sent a giant snow monster after her), even then, don’t stop hoping they can change. Don’t stop praying for them.

Anna doesn’t give up on Elsa. And, in a lot of ways, I think she’s a picture of Christ. He never gives up on his people. No matter how many times we tell him to go away, he still stands at the door to our heart and begs us to come outside with him. He remembers the days when we were truly his and never gives up. No matter how far we go, no matter how much we hurt him, he still laid down his life for us. And, you have to remember, God is outside of time. When Christ died, he knew everything you would ever do. He knew every time you would sin, every single word you would speak against him, every time you forgot to make time for him, every time you shut him out.

But he still laid down his life for you.

And, as Christians, are we not called to be like Christ? Can we say that a person is not worthy of our love, which is nothing compared to Christ’s, when he says that each and every person is worthy of his? As Casting Crowns put it “Jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come.”

Anna never gives up. She never hesitates to reach out to her sister, to love. As Christ never hesitates to reach out and love us. So too are we called to act toward people. Never give up on people.

When you are tempted to, just remember that Christ never gave up on you. Imagine where you would be today if he had.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with this assessment? Who do you think is another underrated Disney heroine?

Is Your Heroine Ready for a Relationship?

***Warning: This post is about a matter very close to the author’s heart and she apologizes for any ranting that occurs***

I recently finished reading William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. And, while I have a list of very decided reasons why Hero should have dumped Claudio (seriously, would have made an awesome scene!) the story was definitely worth the read because of Beatrice and Benedick.

If you’re not familiar with their story, Beatrice and Benedick are rivals of wit. Every time they meet, they take it upon themselves to slam the other one with the wittiest insult. Both are sharp tongued and delight in putting the other down. And, when all else fails, they insult the other person’s insults.

But, then, part way through the story, they get set up and realize they actually love each other. And, that’s where my favorite thing about them comes in.

After the two of them realize they love the other, there is this really great scene where they attempt to speak poetic words of love to each other.

Only, they’re so used to one-uping the other with their wit, that they keep coming up with witty replies to the others romantic overtures. It’s a hilarious scene and probably my favorite.

Plus, it ties in with what I wanted to talk about today.

You might have noticed that romantic stories always end with the couple getting married. Or engaged. Or as a couple. Basically, it ends when they commit to each other.

There are very few stories with a couple who is married. Like, a younger couple. I’m not counting the main character’s parents. I mean two people who are main characters but also a couple.

It’s almost as if society is subliminally trying to tell us that all the fun stops after marriage or after you’re committed to someone. Most of the shows, movies, and books I’ve seen with married couples are disasters because it’s all drama about their relationship.

My mom is sad because I can’t watch Heartland with her anymore. Because the main character drives me so nuts it’s not even funny. She causes nothing but drama in her relationship with her boyfriend and I honestly have no idea why this guy wants to spend the rest of his life with her. She’s jealous and clingy and a complete jerk. He can’t even say hi to another girl without her blowing it out of proportion and turning it into him essentially cheating on her. I just want someone to knock some sense into this girl (not physically… I’m not promoting abuse. I mean that metaphorically).

And, it’s even worse when the story is a sequel or the character get together after a few seasons, because they tend to lose all their life and individuality when they become a part of a relationship.

As you know, Zoe Washburn is one of my favorite heroines of all time. Part of the reason being that she is a good example of a woman in her own right who is also committed to a relationship. But, I’ve talked about Zoe a lot, so I thought I would look at some of my other favorite heroines who are married.

Because, I was actually surprised to realize most of my favorite heroines are married.

Elizabeth Burke from the TV show White Collar and Nora Charles from The Thin Man mystery movie series are definitely on my top five favorite heroines list. And, most of it has to do with the fact that they are amazing characters who are also amazing wives.

Both women are married to men connected with crime. Elizabeth’s husband is an FBI agent and Nora’s husband is a private detective. Both support their husbands in their works and understand that what they do is dangerous. They worry about them, but also don’t nag them about getting into dangerous situations.

I cannot tell you how much that annoys me, when a character nags their significant other for doing the thing they knew that person did when they began a relationship with them. Like, don’t marry an FBI agent and then tell him not to do dangerous stuff. That’s like telling an accountant not to do math. HE’S GOING TO GET INTO TROUBLE. IT’S HIS JOB FOR PETE’S SAKE!

GAH!

Another thing about Elizabeth and Nora is that neither of them get jealous when their husband talks to another woman, no matter how the woman acts. I love that because to me, it says that they not only trust their husband, that he will be faithful to them, but it also says something about their respect for themselves. They are so secure in who they are, they aren’t worried about another woman coming along and stealing their man from them. They know they’re the best thing that ever happened to him and him embracing another woman isn’t enough to make them jealous.

Nora especially is wonderful about this. She and her husband are hilarious because they are always telling the other that they’re cheating on each other, he’s always telling her that he married her for her money, but in the end, they are incredibly in love and would never dream of being unfaithful to the other. They’re surrounded by scandal and messed up relationships and all sorts of crazy situations, but they remain unwavering in their devotion to each other. Nothing can change what they have. And, they aren’t going to let anything threaten them.

And, in one of my favorite scenes with Elizabeth and her husband, Peter, is where she finds out he’s been flirting a little bit with this woman because they need her to let them into this building and she has no idea that they’re with the FBI. Instead of getting mad, Elizabeth takes the opportunity to tease Peter mercilessly because he’s so horrible at flirting. And then she coaches him while he calls the woman, giving him tips on what to say and how to flirt.

Because she knows he’s only doing it for the investigation. She knows her husband would never go too far. And, he would never do anything that would be unfaithful to her. So, she has fun instead of freaking out or yelling at him, she teases him. Because she loves him. And she is certain of his love for her.

Elizabeth is also the best because she runs her own business. She has things that she likes, she has her own activities that she does, she has her friends and her opinions, and she never once feels like the main character’s love interest. She’s a strong, independent woman who is also married to the main character. She’s her own person, fully and completely. She’s an individual. But, that doesn’t stop her from being someone’s partner, a half of something. She can be both wholly herself and half of her marriage.

We need more characters like this. They don’t have to be married, but why don’t we have more love interests who are together through the whole story? Why does the guy only get the girl at the end of the book? Why can’t he get her at the beginning and they spend the book working side by side?

Your story doesn’t have to be weighed down with romantic drama for this to work. In fact, people hate romantic drama, so please don’t add it. But, we are also giving the impression to everyone that relationships are nothing but romantic drama after they start and that needs to stop.

A great way to look at it is instead of thinking of them as love interests, think of them as partners. They are two heroes fighting side by side who happen to also be in love with each other.

We need to show people that there is hope. That relationships have problems, yes, but that’s not the sum of them. We need to show people that characters shouldn’t lose their personalities just because they’re a part of something bigger then themselves.

We need more relationships in our stories. More characters that show that they’re about more than kissing and fighting. That finding a significant other isn’t the end. Sometimes it’s the beginning.

Or, maybe these characters have been in a relationship for a long time. Zoe and Wash are married long before Firefly starts. And they have problems and they fight and they kiss and say lovey things to each other.

But, they’re also two people. The sum of their relationship isn’t them having problems and making out.

And, as a side note, while most romantic relationships are all drama, you have to remember that all relationships have their share of problems. It’s how you write them that count.

Part of the reason I love Sherlock so much is because of John and Sherlock’s relationship. The writers do such a great job of making it realistic, having them fight and disagree and even get really, really angry with each other. But, it never crosses to the point where it’s just stupid, pointless drama.

You know why? Because unlike the romantic couples, John and Sherlock aren’t fighting about stuff that doesn’t matter. They aren’t arguing because Sherlock worked with another partner and John feels jealous because maybe Sherlock doesn’t want him for a partner anymore.

Boo hoo. Who cares, pathetic female who has no personality? If you’re that insecure about how he feels about you, why are you even in a relationship with him?

But, relationships aren’t for everyone. And, before you decide if your heroine is ready for one, let me reiterate just what is required (and, side note- this basically applies to guys too, but this is a post about heroines, not heroes):

She needs to be her own character. Both sides of the relationship need to be developed on their own, excluding the other person. She needs to be herself, have her own personality, her own interests, her own jokes, her own things that she hates and loves and dreams about. She cannot be the female version of her boyfriend or husband. She needs to be the female version of herself.

She needs to be independent in her own right. She needs to feel like a person on her own. If she can’t carry a scene without him there or without talking about him the whole time, she’s worthless. She needs to be her own person, an individual.

But, she also needs to be able to be part of something bigger than herself. She needs to understand that compromise is key in every relationship and picking your battles is important. It’s better to let the little things go and fight back when there’s something big going down. Because if she complains about the little stuff, no matter how huge the matter is, she’s still come across as the nagging girlfriend/wife. And, nobody likes a nagger.

She can’t get jealous at every turn. He’s going to have to talk to other girls. That’s life. You can’t go anywhere without talking to someone of the opposite gender. Sure, get mad if he’s flirting or acting inappropriately. But, if he’s just being nice? If he’s being polite because he’s trying to get the girl to tell him whether the villain stop off here in this town or not? Yeah, she can’t freak out on him for that. Girls, stop freaking out on guys for that.

And, she needs to support him. I love BBC’s Robin Hood but Marian drove me nuts. She told Robin she loved him over and over again but also constantly told him how wrong he was. No matter what he did, it was never right. She wouldn’t have done that or she would have done it differently or he shouldn’t have said that thing that he said or he should have said that thing he didn’t say. I honestly didn’t see love between them. I saw lust. The only love I saw was then they were kissing each other.

But he could never do anything right.

So she has to support him. She can tell him if he’s wrong, of course. She should tell him is he’s wrong. But, she can- again- nag him. Just because he doesn’t do it the way she would doesn’t mean he’s doing it wrong. Seriously, heroines, get with the picture. Stop being stupid about stuff!

Basically, if you’d be annoyed at your friend for doing it, don’t make your heroine do it.

How about you? Do you have any heroines in a relationship? Who is your favorite heroine who is in a relationship? What is your biggest pet peeve about heroines in relationships?

Does Your Heroine Want to be Feminine?

Last week we talked about Zoe Washburn and why she makes such an amazing female character.

This week, I’d like to go to the other end of the scale and look at a heroine who is just as strong, but as opposite from Zoe as you can get.

This week, I want to talk about Inara Serra, another character from Firefly.

First of all, for all of you out there who have avoided this show because of the content, I will say I do understand where you’re coming from. And, I agree with you. I felt like it was all right for me to watch it (skipping a few parts). But, if you have avoided it for content, I respect that and please don’t watch it on my recommendation.

That said, let’s get back on topic.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show or Inara’s character, she’s a young woman who makes her living as a companion.  Which is, essentially, a prostitute who is respected. Her business, in this world, is considered a respectable one and she is well known in many rich and well off circles.

She’s incredibly diplomatic, soft-spoken, and feminine. But, she doesn’t let people walk all over her and she is more than willing to stand up for herself when she feels it is necessary. She’s a business woman and a very shrew one.

I may not approve of her profession, but the interesting thing about the show is it’s her choice. She’s not a victim, no one is forcing her into anything. She chose to do what she does. So while I may not respect what she does for a living, I can still respect her.

I love Inara because she’s feminine. She wears fine clothes and knows how to serve tea and make small talk at parties. She can connect with people on an emotional level. She’s not afraid to be feminine, to be at her core, proud of her gender.

I think, so often, girls are afraid to be girls. We are bombarded with the idea that strong equals physical strength. That we have to know how to fight to be independent. That we can’t like girly things or desire to be gentle-spirited.

Or, we think that means submissive. Subservient. A victim. We think we need to let men take advantage of us, that we need to let people walk all over us in order for us to be truly female. After all, a girl can’t stand up for herself and still be feminine. She needs to wait for her knight in shining armor to do that.

But Inara is a great example of a woman who can be strong and feminine at the same time. She can dress up in fine clothes, dance and make small talk at a party, and exude an air of peace and grace. But if you try to hurt the people she loves, she will fight you. She won’t let you walk all over her and take advantage of her. She’s feminine, not because society tells her to, but because she chooses to be. Don’t ever mistake her gentle spirit for weakness.

I would like to see more heroines like Inara. Woman who revel in their femininity but never allow it to crush their spirit. Women who value diplomacy over brute strength. Women who strive to bring peace to the world around them by exuding peace themselves. Women who are strong and fearless but love fine clothes and dancing and things like sewing and tea parties.

Not because I think this is the superior woman, but because I think this is the oppressed woman. This type of female character has been stereotyped as the useless, ditzy blonde who can’t do anything but scream and wait for her white knight to save her.

There are girls all over the world who want to be the picture of stereotypical femininity. And they are constantly told by society that they’re wrong. That they have to conform into some strong, warrior woman who can fight and shoot and isn’t interested in tea parties.

These girls are being lied to. They are being told that they can’t be hero, they can’t be strong, unless they conform. Their femininity is being stolen from them because people aren’t willing to denounce these lies. We’re too busy complaining because Disney princesses are too skinny or too weak to care about what our outcries tell girls. We never complain that the Black Widow isn’t feminine enough. Because a girl can be anything she wants, right?

So, why are we not complaining that girls aren’t allowed to be traditionally feminine? Are you telling me I can’t save the world if I want to wear skirts while I do it?

There are so many stories about heroes whose girlfriend is kidnapped and he has to save her with much strength and bloodshed. I would love to see a counterstory, where the heroine’s boyfriend is kidnapped and she has to save him with diplomacy and cunning.

Or, why do the girls always have to have the problems in romances? Why do the guys always have to swoop in and save them, change their lives? Why can’t the girl be the one who is there for the guy in his darkest hour? Why can’t the girl be the one who sees he has problems and challenges him to be a better man?

There are many different kinds of strength. I do not need to be physically capable of taking down men twice my size in order to be a strong, independent female.

A girl should be taught to embrace her emotions, not suppress them. She should not let them rule her, no. But she also shouldn’t be ashamed of them.

Is it wrong if a woman wants to change the world because at her core she loves people? Because the plight of humanity saddens her? A woman is allowed to care. She’s allowed to be emotional. I would love to see a female who is saving the world because her heart is broken for it. I would love to see a female who cares not too little, but too much.

A woman who cries over a loss, who cares so much her heart aches for people, is not weakness in my mind. She is, rather, a woman to be respected. Emotions are bed when they cloud our judgment, when they’re selfish, when they hurt people or push them away. But when they spur us on to do good, when they inspire us to act, to change the world, they are nothing to be ashamed of.

A confident, capable woman is not defined by her emotions or situations. She is defined by how she reacts to them, by what they cause her to do. She is a doer, knowing when to take action. She refuses to sit by and let the world go on without her. She has something to do and she is going to do it. She will give it her all, whether it is colonizing a planet, liberating a country, or raising a child. Whatever it is, she will put everything she has into it.

Depending on the woman, those actions might be fighting off dozens of men with nothing but her fists. Or, if might be liberating a country nothing with her words. One is not better than the other. And both need more representation in the world.

About a year and a half ago, I read the Dear America book about the Women’s Suffrage, A Time for Courage. It wasn’t necessarily a particularly spectacular book, and there are other Dear America’s that I like better. But, I’d never read anything much about that part of history before. And so, in terms of that, it was very eye opening.

See, the thing I didn’t know, was that these women wanted to make sure they did everything legally and by the book. They have a right to peaceful protest, as promised in the Constitution. So, they stood outside the White House with their signs, single file, signs held high so that they didn’t block anyone else who might want to use the sidewalk. They were quiet while they stood there, no calling out, no screaming, no demanding their rights.

They were simply a presence, asking for them in such a way that they could not be ignored.

A lot of these women were supported by their husbands. And, I don’t mean financially. I mean, their husbands were okay with them doing this. And, they weren’t abandoning their families. The women made sure to schedule it so that they at least tried to see that every women was home with her family when she needed to be, if possible. They still ran their households, raised their children, made time for their husbands.

So why then, did it cause others to riot? Why then did it cause other people to make a scene, why did they feel the need to scream and block the sidewalk and cause trouble?

Why were these women ultimately brutally arrested and thrown into prison for their peaceful protests?

Because a women doesn’t need a gun to be scary.

A women is scary because of what she fights for.

Just because she carries a gun, doesn’t mean people will fear or respect her. People can ridicule her just the same way people ridicule women without guns. The sandwich joke is just as likely to get made.

Zoe Washburn is awesome because she’s a fighter, yes. But what she fights for is what makes her a heroine. She’s fighting for what she believes is right. She doesn’t wear it on her sleeve, like Captain Reynolds does, but she fought alongside him in the war. It’s easy to forget that, to forget she’s on Serenity because she believes in something too.

Inara can be just as scary because she fights for something, she believes something. I think she scares a lot of Christians because she thinks her profession is respectable. She scares a lot of people because she’s so diplomatic and sweet, but she’s also a fighter.

What struck me about the Dear America book, is the fact that peaceful protest brought about so much violence. That people thought women were too weak to have the vote, to have their own rights, but not too weak to be beaten or to be thrown into horrible prison conditions.

Because, ultimately, what these women proved, was that they weren’t too weak to have rights. They were proving how well they could handle themselves, how well they would handle any rights they were given. They were proving, with their peace, that they deserved their rights.

And that scared people.

They didn’t want their world to change. They wanted to hang onto the ideas they had been raised with, that the world had been seeped in for a very long time. It wasn’t about whether women deserved rights or not, not in the end, not when the women were being persecuted.

It was about whether women had the right to change the world.

And the answer to that is always yes.

We have not only the right, but the power. And we need to be making sure that we are using that power to change it for the good. For the better. That we are using whatever God has given us to make this world a better place.

And, as writers, that means giving girls another type of heroine to look up to. A women with big ideas, who changes the world with peace. With her femininity. A strong, independent female, who is, at her core, a girly-girl.

Do not be afraid to make your heroine talk things through instead of fighting it out with fists. Show a women who tries to find a peaceful solution. A women who is interested in changing the world, but also in things others might consider trivial, like dances and parties and tea. Show the world a woman can be both strong and feminine. Show them that the two are not mutually exclusive.

Show girls that they can save the world while wearing a skirt, if they want to.

Not every heroine has to be super feminine. As I said last week, Zoe Washburn is my favorite heroine ever and she is more inclined to duke it out than talk things through.

But I am at my core, a girly-girl. Part of me wants to learn to fight, because Black Widow is so awesome. But, I also know, I could never truly hurt someone. I’m not saying that it’s good or better, I think it’s even, but I also feel like the world is telling me Black Widow is good or better because she can fight.

So many Middle Grade books are about tomboys. The girls who like dolls are portrayed as girls who can’t do anything. They’re the dumb girl nobody likes.

But, I like both dirt and dolls. I still love to run around outside barefoot, but I'm also searching for the perfect pair of red heels. My favorite TV shows are action-driven and I squeal with delight every time there's an explosion but I still look at the dolls when Mom and I go shopping, and yes, I consider buying them. I wear jeans almost every day I’m home, but having a reason to dress up every day is the best part of having a job.

So, for little girls who love dolls and for teens who like to wear dresses, give them a heroine who shows them they are good enough. Show them that strength doesn’t equal physical strength. Show them that there is another kind of strength they can strive for.

Next week we’re going to talk about writing heroines with weaknesses. I hope you stick around for it.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with this post? Who is your favorite “feminine” female character?

Is Your Heroine Complex Enough?

I am so sick of “strong, independent females.”

We are washed with them in society today. This idea of the perfect female that every girl needs to aspire to be.

But, what I hate, is this stereotype is just as much a trap for young women as the ditzy blonde whose makeup is always perfect and whose body is constantly lusted after.

See, people say they want realistic heroines. But, they don’t really. Because if they did, they would reject the strong female stereotype just as harshly as they do the weak, useless female. Both are lies. Both are as far from real life as you can get.

Because real women- real heroines- are complex. They’re contradictions, paradoxes, puzzles they themselves aren’t always able to solve.

My favorite female character ever is Zoe Washburn, from Firefly. She’s strong, she’s independent, and she can do some real damage. Seriously, I love the fact that she can take care of herself, that she doesn’t need anyone.

But she never crosses the line into stereotype. She never goes into territory that I consider dangerous for young women. She is, in my mind, a wonderful example of what a strong female should be.

She’s strong. She’s independent. She can shoot a gun and fight like nobody’s business. She fought in a war. On the side that lost. And she came out of it stronger. But she doesn’t once mention the fact that she’s a woman. She never tells someone she can do something because of her female power. She never degrades herself by saying she can do something despite the fact that she’s a woman. She never pulls the “Are you saying that because I’m a woman?” card when someone questions something she says or does.

She’s married to a husband who plays with dinosaurs. He is as far from the macho man stereotype as you can get and that’s not an issue for her. She doesn’t try to force him to be someone he’s not. She doesn’t look down on him because she fights better or can handle a gun better than him.

She questions some of the captain’s orders, but also follows his lead on nearly everything. Sometimes to the extent that it causes trouble for her. But, he has earned her respect and she has no problem submitting to his authority.

She, as I mentioned, can do some serious damage if she wants to. Get on the wrong side of her and she knows how to hurt you. She’s strong and tough. But she also wants to have children. A part of her yearns to be a mother.

She’s surrounded by girls who are strong in their own right but very different from her and she never looks down on them for that. The only girl whose actions she comments about are Saffron’s and that’s because she’s not being strong. It’s because she’s conforming to a male-dominated society. But Inara, River, and Kaylee? She might not be super close with any of them, but she doesn’t look down on them. Who they are is who they are. And, since they’re strong in their own right, she has no reason to think any less of them.

What I love about Zoe is she’s real. But she’s also an amazing role model.

A strong female heroine has issue. The thing that sets her apart from the useless heroine is the fact that she does not allow those issues to define her or dictate how she responds to something. She fights. She pushes past the issues and allows them to make her stronger instead of killing or crippling her.

A strong female can submit to authority. Her respect needs to be earned, but once it is, she has no problem following someone. She might question them if she feels their judgment is off or clouded, but she won’t fight just because she needs to be in control. She will only fight if she feels she needs to. But she can submit. She can follow orders and respect someone over her. If they prove they deserve it.

A strong female does not need a man, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want one. She can still get giddy while watching a romantic movie or get in a sappy mood and listen to love songs. She can still hope and dream that someday a man will look at her that way or speak to her with such love. She doesn’t need him to. If she’s single for the rest of her life, she won’t be unsatisfied or feel incomplete. But, if he does come around, he’ll be a nice surprise. Not every girl wants a man or needs to want a man, but a strong female is allowed to. She is no less if she wants love or a relationship. She just knows that she can’t sit around and wait for such things to come into her life. She has things to do and she won’t let the lack of a man keep her from doing them. But she also won’t object if the right man stepped in to join her while doing those things.

A strong female has something in her that makes her female. Zoe wanted children. Not every women wants to have kids and she doesn’t need to. That makes her no less a woman. But, there is something inside of her that makes her a girl. Whether it’s a love of pretty things or that giddy feeling she gets when she’s in love. It might not be often or dominate, but it’s there. There’s something.

A strong female doesn’t know everything but that doesn’t stop her from doing something. She might not always know how to save the world, but she’s going to try anyway. She’s not going to sit in a corner and mope because she has no idea what to do next. She’s not going to whine or scream or cry. Or, maybe she is. But in the end, she acts. Because she’s strong, she’s independent. She knows that screaming or crying aren’t going to solve anything. So, she will either find a way to learn how to better solve her problem or she will give it her best shot. The point it, she does something. She serves a purpose.

A strong female knows how to fight and when not to. So often heroines today are portrayed as girls who will run off into any fight, willing to hack to pieces any man- or woman- who dares stand in her way. But, a true independent woman knows when not to fight. She knows when it’s not worth it to waste her efforts on someone. She knows how to walk away, to not look back at anyone or anything that isn’t worth her time or energy. She won’t let herself get beaten down. But she also knows that sometimes, the best way to win a fight is to refuse to fight it at all. Sometimes, the best way to win is to simply walk away.

A strong female won’t let her problems or her situations dictate who she is. She knows that in the end who she is boils down simply to the choices she makes. Not the ones she made six years ago, or seven weeks, or two days. The ones she is making now. Today. Those define who she is. And so, every second of every day she keeps making choices. Not always the right ones, but she doesn’t let that stop her. She knows that tomorrow she’ll have another choice to make and next time she is determined to make a better choice than the ones she made that day.

Because the most important quality of a strong female is that she is always growing. She knows that no matter how far she has come, there is always farther to go. There is always more to learn, more to do. Her goal isn’t to prove anything to anyone. She isn’t trying to be a strong, capable woman because of pride or a need for people to see her as some great person. She’s trying to be an example, a role model. She wants to change the world. And, in the end, the only person she’s proving anything to is herself. Because her opinion of herself is what matters, because she is the only person she can be sure she’ll have to spend the rest of her life with.

We need to give girls more heroines like Zoe Washburn. Strong, but complex. Independent in their own right but never a stereotype. We need to stop washing society with this idea that strong females are one-sided, that they’re any less complex than the rest of the world.

We need to give them female characters they can see themselves being. Or that they want to be like. Nobody wants to be a heroine who has no character development, no issues, nothing that makes them interesting other than a big gun and an even bigger attitude.

So we, as writers, need to stop accepting this as the norm. We need to start giving the world better heroines to look up to.

Next week we’re going to talk more about another kind of strong, independent woman. I hope you stick around for it.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with this post? Who is your favorite strong, female character?

Is Your Heroine Beautiful Enough?

The thing that bothers me about the outcry about body image in the media is that the solution people offer will only cause more problems.

People complain because the Disney princesses are super skinny. They say it creates unrealistic expectations for girls because it makes them want to be skinny. It makes them feel like they aren’t beautiful because they’re not tiny-waisted. We need plus size princesses. Princesses with stomachs and flabby arms. Princesses who are like real girls.

And, while I appreciate the idea that girls need to be given more realistic expectations, the outcriers are very, very wrong.

They’re suggesting that skinny girls are not insecure about how they look. They’re suggesting a skinny girl never looks in a mirror and tells herself she’s ugly. She never sees an ad or watches a movie and says, “I’ll never be that pretty.”

Disney does not give us unrealistic expectations about body image because they make their princesses skinny. Disney gives us unrealistic expectations about body image because they make their princesses a body shape no girl can have.

Making princesses plus size or “realistic” sized won’t solve the problem. What we consider beautiful is all about what we’re told is beautiful. We want to be skinny because we’re hounded with skinny girls in this culture.

But, if we bombard society with girls who are, by our standards “realistic” all we’re doing is shifting the problem. You’ll probably scoff at the idea, but I promise you, give it some time and the skinny girls will struggle the same way plus size girls do now. They are constantly surrounded these days by people who are saying the way they look is unrealistic. How much longer before they begin to think they’re too skinny? How much longer before they invent surgeries to make girls fatter? Not any time soon, I’m sure. But, it could happen.

As many of you know, I’ve always loved Belle- from Beauty and the Beast. I wanted to be her when I was younger. And, I still do, in many ways. I’m either so incredibly cynical that I shut people out if I feel that they don’t deserve my love or attention or I’m so naïve that I let people walk all over me.

Belle, she’s so strong. She stands up to the Beast and doesn’t let him give her any nonsense. But she also doesn’t shut him out. She gives him a chance. She’s willing to try, after everything, before she shuts him out completely. If I could have half the character she possess, I would feel so much better about who I am.

Black Widow. Love her. After watching The Avengers I wanted to run around the house doing all sorts of crazy stunts. I’m so not flexible and it was a disaster when I tried it, but she makes me want to get into shape, so I can do the things she does.

Tris Prior, from Divergent, inspired me so much when I read that series. Reading about her, about her struggles, it makes me want to be brave, selfless, peaceful, smart, and honest. I want to be divergent. After reading that series I would find myself being reminded to do things differently. When I was scared to do something, I’d remind myself to be dauntless. When I’d start to get angry with someone, I’d ask myself if I was being selfless, if I was being peaceful. If I was tempted to hold something back, to hide how I felt, I’d remind myself to be candor.

I’m not like Tris. But, I want to be.

All of those examples, if you’ll notice, I never once said I wanted to look like the character. They never made me feel insecure about my body or who I was. But they challenged me to be a better person. To be stronger. To be different.

I want to be the girl who is willing to be different, the girl who refuses to be defined by one characteristic, but embodies many. I want to be in shape, healthy, able to stretch and move and do things that make me feel so full of life. I want to be someone who is strong, but willing to give people a chance, not naïve, not cynical, but a healthy balance of the two.

I offer you a simple solution to the body image problem- what if we created heroines so strong, so compelling, so amazing, that girls forget what she looked like and remember instead her character? What if we made girls more than a pretty face? What if we stopped telling people what the girl in our story was like? She’s not ugly, she’s not beautiful, she’s just herself. She can be skinny or fat, tall or short, have any color hair. But stop telling your readers if she’s pretty or not.

Beauty is relative. Some people like something, other people don’t. Most girl aren’t insecure about themselves because they don’t like the way they look. They’re insecure because they know the rest of the world doesn’t like the way they look.

So let’s stop telling them how they look is important. Let’s instead focus on who they are. Let’s stop making the villain ugly because it’s traditional or beautiful because it’s not. Let’s instead focus on character.

Ugly or beautiful, the thing that separates a hero from a villain is the choices they make. Why should it matter if the villain is beautiful, yet horrible or if the hero is ugly, yet brave? We almost portray it as, “She’s ugly but becomes a hero despite it.” Her looks don’t define her character. So why on earth are we making it important?

We try to tell girls “You can be a hero no matter how you look” but it comes across as “It’s okay that you’re ugly, you can still save the world.” And, all that causes girls to do is walk away, looking instead for someone who will tell them that they’re beautiful.

Girls struggle with their body image, yes. But that doesn’t mean you have to put it in every story you write. Remember, your heroine is realistic, but should also be a portrayal of something, a role model. So, if you’re trying to tell girls not to worry about their body, why do you make your hero care?

And, don’t pull the realistic card on me. Because if we’re being realistic, why doesn’t every girl in every book mention her period. Why doesn’t she struggle with that? Because nobody cares about it. Because girls accept it and live with it and it’s not an issue.

So, if you really want girls to stop struggling with how they look, then stop labeling your characters as beautiful or not beautiful. Sure, a guy can tell a girl in your story she’s beautiful. That’s fine. But everyone? No. Or, everyone telling her she isn’t beautiful? Same thing. Don’t do it.

Instead, focus on your heroine’s character. Make her someone your reader could be. Sure, I might not be able to do crazy stunts like the Black Widow, but I could if I put time and energy into it. I might not be able to be her now, but the changes she’s causing me to make in my life are good ones. She makes me want to eat right, to exercise, to be careful with my body.

Your hero should make your reader want to be a better person, not someone who looks different. Sure, Black Widow has awesome hair, but I’d rather be flexible like her than have her hair. Sure, she’s beautiful. But that’s not the focus of her character. Belle never gave me unrealistic expectations about myself because I was too busy trying to walk and read at the same time. Too busy trying to see the good in people. Tris many be all cute and small, but I’d rather have her character than her looks.

If you truly believe that girls are not defined by their body image, then stop defining your heroines that way.

I’ll talk more next week on what I think makes a strong, independent woman. About how to balance her character with realism.

I hope you’ll stop back for that.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with this assessment? Who is your favorite heroine and how does she inspire you to change?