The Forbidden Wish: A Review

Hello, my lovelies!

I am so excited to share this book with you today!

The Forbidden Wish

4.5 Stars

She is the most powerful Jinni of all. He is a boy from the streets. Their love will shake the world... 

When Aladdin discovers Zahra's jinni lamp, Zahra is thrust back into a world she hasn't seen in hundreds of years—a world where magic is forbidden and Zahra's very existence is illegal. She must disguise herself to stay alive, using ancient shape-shifting magic, until her new master has selected his three wishes. 

But when the King of the Jinn offers Zahra a chance to be free of her lamp forever, she seizes the opportunity—only to discover she is falling in love with Aladdin. When saving herself means betraying him, Zahra must decide once and for all: is winning her freedom worth losing her heart?

As time unravels and her enemies close in, Zahra finds herself suspended between danger and desire in this dazzling retelling of Aladdin from acclaimed author Jessica Khoury

~From Goodreads

What I Liked:

The Prose: Oh goodness the prose was incredible! It felt much like it does reading the Thousand and One Nights, that same lyrical magic, poetic prose that just makes me want to cry because of how beautiful it is. Even if this book was horrible, I probably still would have loved it for the prose. But thankfully it was far from horrible.

The style was also really cool. Throughout the book Zahra talks to someone from her past, making the whole book much like a love letter to an old friend. And the author manages to do it in exactly the right way so that it’s all rather perfect.

The Characters: I loved the characters in this story. For me, characters are the most important thing in a story so I was very happy that these ones didn’t disappoint.

Zahra is a fascinating character, deep and complicated and complex and yet at her core a very simple person. She had so many layers to get through to understand her but once I did she was easy to understand in the good kind of way. It’s like when you get to know a friend really well. There was a comfort in knowing her.

Aladdin is adorable and sweet and straightforward and I loved him so incredibly much. He leapt off the page at me and had me right from the first moment. He’s exactly what you want Aladdin to be- the scrappy street rat with a heart of gold- but he also feels real, like his own person and never an archetype. His relationship with Zahra is also very sweet and he’s so earnest and adorable and I just love him.

But the book isn’t just about Zahra and Aladdin and that’s part of what I love so much about this book too- there were so many other good characters- especially Caspida and Roshana- and they were all as well developed as the main two. I kind of aspire to be Roshana and Caspida was so well done- earnest and strong but also so very human.

The Relationships: As I mentioned I liked Zahra and Aladdin’s relationship a lot. They banter quite a bit and it was so funny and I loved it. Those were my favorite bits, when they were bantering.

But there were so many other great relationships, not all romantic. Zahra and Roshana’s relationship was phenomenal and I loved the fact that the main character’s backstory dealt with a sister-like love between two girls rather than a forbidden/star-crossed romance between her and a guy as story are prone to do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that sort of story, it was just very refreshing to see something different.

Caspida also had the loveliest relationship with her ladies. I loved the way they were written. There was honestly so much solidarity between girls in this book that it made me so happy. It was empowerment done right.

The Story: it was just sweet and fun and beautiful and I laughed and I cried and I just really enjoyed it and I want more people to read it so I can talk to other people about what a lovely book it is. It also had some good plot twists and was well-developed and a very enjoyable ride.

The World: the story world in this book was so incredibly well-developed. I actually looked up some of the mythology of the world because it was so well-established that I was sure it had to have come from actual mythology. But nope, it was all developed by the author. And wow was it good!

I read on Goodreads that the author isn’t planning on writing any more books connected to this one and that made me really sad because the story world was amazing and I would have loved so much to see more of it.

What I Didn’t Like:

The Romance: okay, so this isn’t strictly true but I feel like this needs addressed. Because honestly if this hadn’t happened I would have probably forgiven everything else and given the book 5 stars. And I don't know any good way to say this so I'm just going to be blunt about it.

Zahra and Aladdin come really close to having sex and I just wasn’t okay with it. They don’t actually but the scene leading up to it gets a bit steamier than I am comfortable with and I feel like not mentioning it wouldn’t be fair to any of you, my faithful readers. I would still recommend this book but not to anyone under 16 (which, to me, is what PG-13/TV-14 should be).

The Story Goal: the author established a goal for Zahra and clearly laid out the dire consequences for not completing it and then Zahra spent a good portion of the middle of the book focusing on Aladdin’s goal instead, setting her own aside for days at a time. I just felt like she maybe didn’t have the sense of urgency that she maybe ought to have had? Not that either story goal wasn’t interesting or a solid goal, but it just felt like the more important of the two wasn’t handled as the important goal that it was.

Darius: okay, so I actually liked this character but that’s the problem. I just really don’t like it in stories where there is a main villain and a lesser villain and the main villain is abusive to the lesser villain. As soon as you introduce abuse I will like the lesser villain and feel bad for them and everything they do I will see as a result of that abuse and have a hard time hating them for being a bully.

I just wanted more from this character because the author made me feel sympathy for him. She handled him well in the end, but I was still left feeling a little empty when it came to him because I wanted a little something more.

Overall Opinion:

I LOVED this book. I would highly recommend it to older young adults without a moment of hesitation. It was so good and I can’t say enough good things about it. If you think this sounds even remotely interesting you need to drop what you’re doing and read this immediately. Because it was such a lovely book.

And look, another playlist! It’s almost complete except one song is missing (because it isn’t on Spotify). For the list to be truly complete it would include “My Petersburg” from the Broadway Anastasia Cast Recording. But otherwise this is the complete playlist.

Does this sound like something you’d like to read? Let me know your thought on it in the comments! And also let me know if there are any retellings you’d like to see me review.

I’ll be back on Monday to share with you some things fairy tales have taught me; I hope to see you then. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

The Initial Post About Fairy Tales

Hello, my lovelies!

When I was growing up my family used to visit my grandma (who lived in a different state) a couple of times a year. We visited every Thanksgiving and maybe once more sometime in the spring.

My sister and I always stayed in the same room, which had shelves of books that were all boring and adult. I would always look through them, hoping to find something new and exciting to read, but was instead met with the same thing- boring non-fiction (I have since grown to love and appreciate non-fiction but that is a story for another time).

So every time we went to visit I would end up reading the same book- a beautiful, thick 800+ book of fairy tales. Oddly enough, I always read the same ones over and over too, maybe branching out and trying another one or two each visit. But I read those fairy tales over and over again, disappearing into their world with glorious pleasure.

I started collecting my own volumes of fairy tales over the years after that, finding that most of them contained different versions of the same stories and I ate each version with the same fervor and delight that I had the last. It was in those years of my childhood that I fell in love with my favorite tales: King Thrushbeard, Rapunzel, The Goose Girl, The Twelve Dancing Princesses, Beauty and the Beast, Princess and the Pea.

I don’t remember the first fairy tale retelling that I read, which is sad because whatever book that was it changed my life. But whatever book it was, that’s where it all started and it hasn’t stopped since. Over my high school years I would stumble across new retellings as I scoured the library shelves for something new and interesting. I never sought them out really; they always seemed to find me.

I still have favorites from my childhood that I vividly remember reading and having my mind blown by- the classic retelling that breathed new life into my favorite tales, the twisted tales that played around with changing major elements and pointing out the things that didn’t make sense, the silly ones, the serious ones, the mash-ups, the short stories, the novels. I am so excited that I get to share these stories with you someday, to review the old favorites of my childhood and give you a peek into what played such a major role in forming me into who I am today as well as sharing with you new treasures as I discover and fall deeply in love with them.

Each one of these tales holds a special place in my heart, reminding me of my childhood and the magic I used to live in. I think most of my wonder and idealism came from those stories I read as a child, the brightly illustrated versions of tales that had been told and changed and retold to children for years and years and years before. It made me feel connected to the world, knowing those tales that meant so much to me had meant something to a little girl a hundred years before.

Then I became a teen and started reading some of the original tales and I hated them. They made me mad, that my stories, my childhood wonder, was being messed with in such dark and creepy ways. How dare Brothers Grimm write such tales! I wanted the Disney versions, the children’s versions, that were full of brightly colored illustrations, adorable princesses, dashing princes, true love, and good that always triumphed.

As I’ve gotten older I have come to see the beauty in darkness, in how it plays in our lives to contrast the light. It is a necessary evil that deserves much more credit than I give it. I am still not a fan of darkness for nothing more than the sake of darkness but I find that often what I thought was that in stories was in fact something more nuanced and layered. And if that is so not in the original tale, then surely it is my job to make it so in the retelling of it.

I think I remember my first fairy tale retelling idea (I apologize to my characters if I am forgetting another story that came first). Her name was Sage, a version of Rapunzel, who had the power to heal people by taking their pain upon herself. Unlike the original Rapunzel, Sage was broken and cynical and she needed the help of an annoyingly charming runaway prince and an earnest clergy-to-be nobleman’s son to bring her back to her childlike wonder. And I wasn’t three chapters into the book before I had turned the book into a series spanning at least five books.

There was the Rumpelstiltskin retelling about the girl called Rinity who could weave worlds with her words. There was the Beauty and the Beast retelling about the girl unfortunately named Beauty Amen (nicknamed Amy) who worked at a library in order to pay off a debt incurred by her father. There was the Princess and the Pea retelling about the princess who had not yet been named who set out on a quest to recover a precious heirloom the kingdom had lost years before. Somewhere in there fit the Cinderella retelling about the girl who fit the shoe but wasn’t the girl the prince had danced with the night before. The Mulan retelling about the girl called Orchid who had been turned into a soldier but was really just the earnest girl who cleaned things when she was mad. And (upon my sister’s request) a Robin Hood retelling in which Robin Hood’s morals were called into question by the lovable Maid Marian.

These stories sadly never saw the light of day and I don’t know that they ever will. But there are still a very special part of my childhood and I adore them in ways I cannot even begin to express.

Several years ago, I started to realize just how much I love writing retellings. I had of course already played around with some ideas (even more than the series I mentioned) but I started to realize that whenever I would get a new idea I would start to ask myself “What fairy tale is this like?” or “Can I make this a retelling?”

I cannot come up with plots to save my life. Characters and premises come to me with ease but I have a hard time coming up with the plot. The number of times I have explained a new idea to a friend and ended it with “And then they do… stuff…” is almost laughable.

But fairy tales, they solve that problem. See they give me just enough that my story has a goal of some sort, some sort of general idea about what characters are supposed to be doing, but they also leave enough room for me to fill in my own details, characters, setting, premise, and the like.

And fairy tales have so many beautiful questions begging to be answered and when I read them my brain just wants to find solutions to those questions. I can’t let them lie. Fairy tales beg to be explored and I want to be that explorer. I want to be the adventurer who forges ahead and looks for the answers everyone else was looking for, even if they didn’t realize they were.

And there it is. My fairy tale journey.

I would love to hear about your own journey, about the fairy tales that meant something to you as a child and the ones that mean something now. Be sure to tell me all about them in the comments below.

I hope to see you on Friday when I share another book review. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

The Fairy Tales of William J Brooke: A Review

Hello, my lovelies!

My mind is sort of spinning as I write this.

I am fresh off of rereading a series I read as a kid, was wildly fascinated with, and didn’t understand a lick. Rereading them now I appreciate them so much more and that’s why my head I spinning- because there is so much going on inside it, so much I’m thinking about and not sure how to say. But I’ll do my best.

A Telling of the Tales:

5 Stars

This is William J. Brooke’s first book in the series. At a glance it appears to be a series of short stories that retell different fairy tales. Except he likes to mess with the fairy tales, asking questions, making changes. The very first story is a Sleeping Beauty retelling in which Sleeping Beauty isn’t quite convinced that she was really asleep for 100 years. From there the stories just get better (though I do love that first one dearly). Some are happy little stories, most have elements of deep wistfulness. He likes to dig deeply into certain themes, particularly that of looking back on your life and feeling regret. It’s a running theme through the whole series and it’s very interesting.

But don’t mistake these stories for anything too heavy. He mixes comedy in seamlessly, as if to remind us not to take life too seriously. And it works. It works really, really well. I wonder if this series is where I got my love for mixing the comedic with the philosophical. I’d like to think it is.

I love each story in this book (all unconnected to each other) and don’t think I can pick a favorite (okay, that's not true- it's "The Working of John Henry") Each story is so different and varied that at first glance it seems weird that they are all in the same book together. But they work and they work well. Anyone who loves fairy tales needs to read this book as soon as possible. And even people who don’t love them should. I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

Untold Tales:

4.5 Stars

This is the second book in the series and while I really enjoyed it, it just wasn’t as good as the other two. I think maybe because it’s a bit heavier than the others? It made me think a lot more (which is never a bad thing) but there were a few things that I just wasn’t sure how I felt about them. Nothing bad!! I just didn’t love them as much as I did the stories from the other book.

There are four stories in this book. The first three are only slightly connected by the tiniest element, the third and fourth closely connected and featuring a character from the first story of the first book (A Telling of the Tales). It was honestly the last story that dropped the rating down half a star. It was CLEVER. Goodness was it clever. But it was a little too clever in places, like the author was trying too hard and it was just hard to wrap my head around, which made it hard to enjoy.

But this one was still really good and definitely worth the read!

Teller of Tales

5 Stars

This is without a doubt my favorite of all the books. I loved each and every one of them but this one blows the others out of the water. It’s written more like a novel, each story not its own, intertwined with the framework story and acting as a mirror to the characters and their lives (particularly the lives of Teller and the Girl, the two main characters).

All of the stories in this book connect and then the last story connects to the first story of the first book in a super cool way (which I shall not elaborate on so you can experience it for yourself when you read it). The stories are deeper in this book, the characters rounder, more dynamic. They suffer from more real things and are more dynamic. And because you get a whole book and not just a short story with them, the characters grow more, change over the course of the stories.

There are still fairy tale retellings, they’re just different. But the good kind of different. And definitely my favorite.

Overall the series is incredible and I am very happy with the money I spent to buy them since my library got rid of the copies I read as a kid. As I said, I would recommend them to anyone who loves fairy tales or is even slightly interested in them. Or anyone who likes slightly quirky stories that mix comedy and philosophy. Or if you’re a writer, you’d really appreciate not only his prose but the stories he tells about telling stories. They’re so good. Really anyone just looking for some good books to read. Because these are so good. So, so good.

These stories have stuck with me since the first time I read them all those years ago, though I was far too young to understand and appreciate them fully then. I used to think back on them and remember things the author did and the questions he asked about the stories. Even though I didn’t get them fully as a kid, I think these really shaped the way I look at fairy tales. I was scared to reread them, thinking maybe it would ruin the magic but I was wrong. They made things even more magical. The stories made sense this time, they captured me in ways I never would have dreamed they could. I want more and I’m so sad this is all there is.

So yes. I would definitely recommend them. I myself am going to treasure my copies and keep them safe for reading and rereading. Because I just read them but I already know these are stories I’m going to want to revisit very soon.

Also, I made a playlist. There is one song for each story in the first two books, in the order they appear (nine songs in all). The rest of the songs at the end are for the characters in the last book. I don’t have songs for their stories yet and I feel like this book is too special to try to force anything. Hopefully I’ll be adding some songs for them in the future.

I’ll be back on Monday to talk about my personal history with fairy tales and I hope to see you then. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

Welcome to the (Newly Renovated) Ivory Palace!

Hello, my lovelies! I'm back!!!

I know it has been much too long and for that I apologize. But the hiatus has come to an end! Allow me to welcome you to the Ivory Palace Grand Opening! Please, come inside and allow me to give you the tour.

First of all, you’re probably wondering “Why a renovations?”

Well, besides the obvious fact that I have been really bad about updating consistently, there are several reasons:

-One: like all things should, as I get older I am growing and changing. And as this blog is an extension of me so too it needs to grow and change if I plan to keep it up.

-Two: As much as I know many of you enjoyed reading about the writing world here I started to realize that you never actually really got to see my writing world. And this isn’t a blog about professional writing. This is a blog about my writing and the lens through which I see stories and the stories that matter most to me. So I would like to start making my writing posts more authentic and better reflections of me.

-Three: Book reviews are fun and I really want to do more of them. Plus I love getting to share with you all the lovely books I read (or rant to you about the ones I don’t like). And as a general rule people tend to like posts about books. So it just seems smart to do that…

All right! Now that we have that out of the way, allow me to give you a proper tour.

General Overview:

As you can see, I have a new banner across the top, stating that within the Ivory Palace you will find things pertaining to fairy tales, book reviews, and writer rants. This is of course true or I never would have posted it. Things will basically be very much the same around here, except that there will be posts more consistently and there will be a lot more that has to do with fairy tales. Because I love fairy tales and am finally giving into this fact. I will tell you more about that in the coming month.

You can also see there are more pages along the bar at the top. I like to think of each of these as a newly renovated room in the palace. They include:

“About Me”:

It’s where you get to peek into my personal life and learn about who I am. I have a profession bio at the beginning, which is short and sweet, but a little farther down is also the longer, fun bio.

“My Books”:

This is of course where you can find information about the books I have published and places to buy them. You will also be able to purchase any of my book there in the future (except the Kit Parker books because of copyrights, but they will still be available on Amazon)

“Contact Me”:

If you want to send me an email about anything related to my writing or my blog, this is the place to go to. I would love to connect with you and will try to respond to you as swiftly as possible. And seriously, every like, follow, comment, email, and such make me so incredibly happy so please don’t hesitate! If you are looking to connect with me on social media, you can do so by following the links on the righthand side of the top of this (or any) page.

“Reviews”:

This is the Royal Library, the only room still under construction. But only because I haven’t started posting my reviews yet. In the months to follow as I post reviews I will add links to this page so they will be easier to find in the future.

But my newly renovated pages are not the only changes coming to the Ivory Palace!

Theme:

As I mentioned above, I am revamping my posts so most of them have a fairy tale theme. And there will be a lot more book reviews. Fairy tales have been very important to me for a long time (as I will share with you in the upcoming month) and have become an integral part of my writing. So it would be amiss if my blog did not reflect that.

But I will also be posting writing advice and rants, so don’t worry! I know all of you love to listen to me rant…

In the meantime, please have a look around and drop me any feedback you have in the comments. I would especially love to hear your thoughts on the updates, along with any suggestions for books you would like me to review (fairy tale retellings specifically), writing related articles you would like to see, and fairy tales you would like to hear me talk about.

See you at the end of the week! Until the next time we meet don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

Acceptance Doesn't Equal Love

Hello, readers!!

At this point, I am sure some of you are wondering if I am in fact still alive. I am. And, I still very much love this blog. I am even working on getting things organized to make it even better!! So stay tuned for that....

In the meantime, this has been on my heart lately, and while it isn't a post about writing, it is a post I have written, so it counts, right?

As I grow older, the more people I talk to, the more I am hit with the idea that love and acceptance go together. Even when people don’t mean it that way, it comes across as “because I love you, I accept you.”

And, as I grow older and talk to more people, the more I am convinced that this is completely wrong.

I crave love more than anything else. I want people to love me. I want people to want me in their lives. I want to be special to people. When my kiddoes tell me I’m the best babysitter ever, that craving is fed and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

But that doesn’t mean I want to be accepted. I don’t. I don’t want people to simply accept me. As much as I hate it, I want to be called out when I do something wrong. I want people to tell me how I can improve.

I want them to love me, yes. But if they truly love me, they won’t let me stay the way I am.

In our culture today we are hit with this wave of thinking that if you love me, you won’t ever disagree with me. You won’t ever express that you think I am wrong, that you know I’m wrong. You won’t ever ask me to change. I am who I am. If you don’t accept that, you don’t love me. I can push anyone away, call them judgmental, because we do not see eye to eye. And that is socially acceptable.

Acceptance is equal to love, we’re told. Challenging someone, questioning them, is equal to hate.

That is so wrong.

The people in my life who have made the biggest impact on me are the ones who loved me enough to keep me from simply staying where I was. They pushed me to be a better person. They refused to accept me. One of my closet friends in high school had a way of always knowing which questions to ask to make me admit what was wrong. She never allowed me to bottle things up because she knew that wasn’t healthy for me.

But I like bottling things up. I want nothing more than to avoid conflict and I hate talking about how I’m feeling because I do not want to burden people. But that wasn’t good enough for this friend. She pushed me. Harder than I wanted to be pushed. And she made me talk about things I didn’t want to talk about because I knew once they were voiced I would have to deal with them.

And then, guess what? She made me deal with them.

I didn’t want to. Never. That’s why I kept them hidden. But this friend loved me enough to push me past my breaking point, to challenge me. That’s not hate. That’s not judgment. I don’t think this friend is capable of hating or judging me. She is the sweetest, most loving person with the biggest heart. But if she can’t accept me, she’s just a bigot, right?

Or how about my mom? She’s not a writer. And a lot of times, I know she doesn’t understand the things I say or feel or do. So she questions them. Not out of hate or malice or a desire to hurt me, but because she does not understand. And even when I can explain it, even when I make it make sense, I still have to take a step back and examine myself. If she simply accepted me, chalked up everything she didn’t understand to me being a writer, I would never have to take a closer look at myself. I would never have to wonder if my obsession with my current story was healthy or not or if I am spending too much of my time in made up places and not enough in reality. I would be accepted, yes. But is that really love?

Alternately, when I was deciding whether I should get my nose pierced or not, I asked a few moms if my doing this would cause a stumbling block to their daughters in anyway. I know the girls look up to me and I didn’t want to do anything that would cause their moms to want to take them out of contact with me or make them think any less of me (again, because I want to be loved). All of the moms were super supportive and assured me that they saw nothing wrong with it.

But one of the moms added something else. She told me she was fine with it, that it would not affect her daughter in any way. But then she asked me why I was doing it. She challenged me in the most beautiful way to think about whether I was doing it just because I thought it would be a fun change or if I was doing it because of an unrest in my soul. She reminded me that only God can fill that sort of an unrest, that my completion is in Him not a piece of jewelry. And while I simply wanted to get my nose done because I thought it was cute and have for a very, very long time, I still greatly respect this mom because of what she said. She made me examine myself, ask myself if I did need to change or if I was looking for it in the wrong places. She accepted me, yes. But then she loved me enough to challenge me to be a better person.

I could go on and on. I have so many stories about people who have made me a better person because they loved me too much not to.

Love is something that finds you in the place you are. It envelops you in an embrace and tells you everything is going to be all right.

But love doesn’t leave you there. That’s acceptance. Acceptance is saying “Where you are is fine.”

But it’s not. As Christians, we are always working toward being more like Christ, so there is always room for improvement. And, those who believe evolution believe that we are constantly evolving, so we are always changing and growing. Improving.

So, if those two worldviews make up a good portion on the population, why is acceptance so widely taught?

I don’t want people to give me positive affirmation unless they mean it. Please don’t tell me “Good job” unless I actually did a good job. Don’t tell me I’m fine where I am, when I know I am not. Don’t tell me I’m fine even if I think I am.

Positivity is getting in our way. We’re so busy trying to build people up that it becomes a false sense of encouragement. It’s like building a wall with Styrofoam bricks instead of concrete ones. They look great, they seem to be doing the job. But they’re gonna crumble under the least bit of pressure.

What if instead we stopped being positive for the sake of being positive? What if we truly built people up by equipping them to be better people? What if instead of telling people they’re fine we pushed them to be even better?

Because I’m sure I am fine. But I don’t want to be fine. I want to be extraordinary. And not in the way your teachers teach in elementary school, where everyone is special. I mean I want to be pushed to be the very best person I can possibly be.

I want to be challenged. I want to be called out on my crap. I want to be given advice. I want to be told when I do something wrong.

Please speak to me with love. Please be kind. Please be gentle. But please, please, please, don’t accept me for who I am when you know full well that I can be better.

I know I am capable of extraordinary things. I know I can move mountains, I can change the world, I can start a revolution.

But being told those things, they don’t mean anything. Stop telling me I can make a difference, start challenging me about what sort of a difference I am making.

I think my best friend and I get along so well because we can be honest with each other. When she’s being ridiculous, I can tell her. When I’m overreacting, she tells me. I don’t need to be told that my feelings are justified. Believe me, I think that without your help. I need someone to say “Take a step back and breathe. Maybe the other person was just having a bad day.”

I have issues. Major ones. I know this better than anyone. And being told I am okay, being told it’s just who I am, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t make me a better person, it doesn’t help me in anyway. In fact, you’re hindering me when you say that.

Don’t affirm what I say. I don’t want a yes man. Don’t repeat back to me what I just said. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me ‘no’ if that’s what I need to hear. Tell me to calm down. Tell me to relax. Tell me to take a step back and examine myself. Challenge me. Push me. Love me.

But don’t accept me.

I never want to settle for mediocrity. And if you are someone who is okay with me settling, no matter how positive you are about it, it’s still a negativity I do not need in my life.

Cinderella- The Review...? Rant...? Me Talking About It With Much Emotion

Hey look! It's Monday! And, I'm posting something! This is almost normal!

We'll see if you still love me after you read it though... I apologize if I offend anyone.

And, I've got some other posts written so be sure to look out for those. They're much... tamer than this one...

Anyway! Without further ado:

****THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS TO DISNEY’S LIVE ACTION CINDERELLA! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED****

****THIS IS A NEGATIVE REVIEW! IF THIS WILL UPSET YOU OR MAKE YOU SAD, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED****

I wanted to write this review a long time ago, but when I went to see it, I went with my sister, my best friend, and my brother’s girlfriend. And they all loved it. So, I felt sort of bad because I didn’t like it and I didn’t want them to think that my dislike of the movie also meant I was disappointed with the experience.

Danielle, Allie, and Danielle, if you’re reading this, please don’t think I was disappointed that I spent time with you.

Because I wasn’t. I had a blast. I just didn’t like the movie.

Or, as anyone who knows me the tiniest bit can tell you, I don’t just dislike stuff. I obsessively dislike it. That’s how I felt about the new, live-action remake of Cinderella. I don’t just dislike it. I DISLIKE it with a fiery burning passion.

There were a number of reasons the movie just didn’t work for me. Starting with a small reason, I’ll work my way up to the biggest problem I found.

So, first, Cinderella’s dress. What was with the butterflies? Like, it was sooooo beautiful and then the butterflies along the top looked like they had been added on the whim of a five-year-old. No. They should have been left off. I don’t care about motif. Seriously. No. Take them off. The costumer inside of me was screaming. Like, literally screaming inside my head. You may be thinking it’s not that big of a deal, but it is. Trust me. It was wrong and it ruined the magical moment of the dress transformation for me.

Next, the stepsisters.

I. Want. Pretty. Stepsisters.

Or, ugly stepsisters are okay.

Just please, please, pleeeeeeeaaaaaase stop giving me pretty girls in ugly costumes and terrible hairstyles. Part of the reason Ever After works so well for me is because I’m given beautiful stepsisters with ugly personalities. Like, seriously, if they had taken two second to style their hair differently, would we have had a different movie? Would more guys have liked them?

Or, give me ugly girls. Give me girls who eat too much and complain when their mother tries to dress them up and marry them off. Or, maybe they try to be pretty but it doesn’t work. But, please stop exaggerating it. This movie was full of a gorgeous color scheme and then they plop the stepsisters right in the middle of it and it came across as more than a sharp contrast. From the pictures I’ve seen and the few second snippets, they looked as if they would fit better in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland than this version of Cinderella.

I don’t know where this tradition started, but please, people, stop it.

Then there was the story in general. I wanted something new. Anything. Now, I’m not talking about a full new story. I understand that people love it because they kept it truer to the original story and that’s great. It actually gave me a ton of hope for Beauty and the Beast because it shows Disney does actually know how to follow a story without changing everything they possibly can.

But, you can add depth to a story without making it a new story. The only character who had depth, they ruined (we’ll get to that later). I wanted the story to surprise me. To give me another layer.

As a writer, the story was very one-note for me. The dialogue wasn’t particularly witty, none of the characters had much depth, and the story was the exact one we have known since before we can remember. The only parts that grabbed my attention, truly drew me in and made me care, were ruined by the end of the movie. Everything else was uninspiring and even the gorgeous visuals of the story world weren’t enough to keep me interested.

Which leads to my last point- the real reason I didn’t like the movie: The Stepmother.

See, I loved her.

For me, she was the only character with depth. The only character I understood. The only character I truly cared about.

Look at it from her point of view- She’s a single mother with two daughter in a time when men were valued. She has no one to take care of her girls, no one to see they are found good husbands, a place worthy of respect in the world. She’s a mother who wants the very best for her daughters. How many mothers out there can relate to that?

So then she meets this man. And, he’s good and kind and just amazing. And the way he talks about his own daughter, the way he treasures her, loves her, it gives the stepmother hope. Perhaps this man could love her daughters in the same way. Perhaps he could find her girls good husbands, as a man who cares in such a way for his daughter would surely not toss another’s to the wayside. There’s a chance here that maybe this man will offer them a place, see they are cared for, see they get the very best life can offer.

And, maybe, just maybe she finds herself falling in love with him.

But her heart was broken. Maybe by her first husband. Maybe by her father. Maybe by a suitor she wasn’t good enough for as a girl. Someone broke her heart because she obviously isn’t the best at loving people. She wants it. You can see that. At least, I could. But I don’t think she knows what love is. Maybe because no one had ever showed her before.

And, now, she’d found someone who might. Someone she might be able to open her heart to. Someone she might be able to love.

But then there’s that terrible scene where she overhears the father talking to Cinderella about her. That was wrong. Think about it. How would you feel if you overheard your husband talking about you that way? Especially when he clearly told Cinderella before that that he might be in love with her. He called her a second chance at happiness. So, we know this wasn’t just a marriage of convenience. He professed love to her and then turns around and talks about her behind her back.

I’d be pretty mad too.

Especially when he dies and she’s left with the girl. The girl he loved more than her. The girl who kept him from loving her own daughters. Her plans backfired.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. SHE MADE BAD CHOICES. I am not saying she was right to do any of what she did to Cinderella. It was wrong. But, it made sense.

See, Cinderella is all smiles and sweetness, but then goes and talks about her behind her back. I wouldn’t like the girl either. I would probably be pretty ticked off if I found myself her guardian.

Especially when Cinderella’s so much better than her own daughters. Daughters she wants the very best for. Daughters she will stop at nothing to make sure are taken care of. She doesn’t want her daughters to end up like her- twice a widow, left with nothing, no hope, no future for her children.

Who better to set your sights on than the prince? Any children you have will be looked after, even if something happens to your husband. You’ll never want for anything, never go without, and you’ll at least have money to make up for it if the prince talks behind his back about you (not a good philosophy, but one that makes sense).

But, Cinderella is standing in their way. Cinderella, with all her smiles and kindness but beneath it, she just isn’t nice to the Stepmother. They never connected and Cinderella didn’t really try. Not like she should have. It’s like Cinderella just expected everyone to like her and it’s some grave offence if they don’t.

So, the Stepmother takes drastic measures. She goes out of her way to ensure the prince doesn’t meet Cinderella, because she knows there’s no hope for her if he does. Her girls don’t stand a chance next to someone as amazing as Cinderella. They’ll be left with nothing.

You all know what happens. You know the steps the Stepmother takes. But then, Disney gives me one final scene to hate.

That scene at the end, after the prince finds Cinderella. We’re supposed to be cheering. The prince and Cinderella are united! The evil Stepmother has been vanquished.

And so, Cinderella walks down the stairs, gives her Stepmother a condescending little look and says the three words that fill me with rage every time I think about them: “I forgive you.”

I wanted to punch Cinderella. Or, at least the screenwriters.

See, this is supposed to be a great scene. But, really, of course she forgives her. Why wouldn’t she? She’s won. She gets the prince and the Stepmother is left with nothing. Her girls have even less of a chance at finding good husbands than they did before. That’s the thing that determines girls’ worth in that time, that world. And, Cinderella took it all away. She won.

Of course she forgives her Stepmother. Because this woman can never do another bad thing to her again. This woman is fully and completely defeated. And honestly, I would be surprised if Cinderella ever truly thought of her again. She has no reason to.

Forgiveness is easy when your life is perfect.

If she had said those words five minutes earlier, as the Stepmother was taking the slipper, was locking her in her room, I would have loved her. I would have written a completely different post, briefly mentioning the other things, but telling you all what a powerful movie this is. I would be writing about how much I love Cinderella and how amazing she is and how beautiful this all was.

But any effect, any power this story might have had was lost. Because she said those words just a few minutes too late.

But, on the plus side, this movie inspired a Cinderella retelling idea for me and as I was writing this post, I was inspired to write another one. So, I’m off to write that.

Until next time, faithful readers!

A Short Story...

My poor blog!

It must feel so unloved...

I don't have a post, but I haven't posted anything lately, so y'all get a short story. I don't have a title for it, so I originally called this post the first thing I could think of that applied, which was "The Goodbye Letter"

Then I pictured that popping up in your inbox and all of you freaking out. Super misleading!!

So, I went with the simple "Short Story." Because that's what it is. It's just something I wrote off a writing prompt, so I hope you enjoy it!

I wrote you a letter you’ll never read. If you look closely at the pages you’ll find the stains where my tears fell as I wrote. The handwriting gets sloppier with each sentence as I became so caught up in the words I forgot to keep my mind on writing legibly. By the end, you probably wouldn’t be able to read what I wrote anyway.

                Not that it matters anymore.

                I baked a cake you’ll never eat. I set it out and the guests all helped themselves, talking in hushed tones as they ate the thin slices. Pineapple pound cake. Your favorite. I jumped every time the door opened, but you never came through it. The cake is gone and the guests left but you never came home.

                I drove past your work every day for a month, but your car was never there. I looked every time I drove by but your blue impala was never in the parking lot, in its usual space. I suppose you don’t drive it anymore, so I don’t know why I would expect to see it.

                I saw you every time I went out, saw you in every crowd, saw you in the face of every stranger I past. But they were never really you. I kept an eye out. I really did. I always thought I would see you, always expected to run into you. But it never happened.

                I still have your voicemail, but it’s not enough. I wanted to see you one last time, wanted a chance to talk, wanted a chance to say goodbye. Why didn’t you give me that chance? You really think leaving a phone message is good enough? You’d really do that to the woman you claimed to love?

                I didn’t get out of bed for days after I got your message. I didn’t eat and my sleep was fitful and full of dreams. More like nightmares. When I did start eating again, I ate my way through six pizzas, three jars of pickles, and nine pints of ice cream. I threw up three times.

                I cried for months. I cried on the way to work and on the way home, and in the shower, and while I sat alone on the couch every night. I blamed you. And then I blamed me. And then I blamed them. I missed you and I hated you. I wanted you back and never wanted to see you again.

                I had to explain it to my friends and family. Only, what was I supposed to tell them? I dreaded facing them and avoided it whenever possible. How could I explain to them when I didn’t even understand it myself?

                You left me. And, I couldn’t even call you. You left me and I didn’t know why. Was it me? Did I do something? Was I not good enough for you? If I had done something differently would we be together today? If I had done things differently would you have stayed?

                I got rid of everything that reminded me of you. I went through the house and did a complete overhaul, throwing everything away, cleaning it all out. I felt so good about myself, actually getting something done. I removed all traces of you, fueled by my anger.

                And then I regretted it and collapsed on the kitchen floor, sobbing, pleading with you to come back to me.

                I waited for you. All those parties I skipped out on, all the people I kept at arms’ length. You were coming back. And I wanted to be available when you did. I waited. I waited so long, put my life on hold, hoping, praying, begging you to come back.

                But, you never did.

                I’ve moved on now. Just like you asked me to. I don’t know when it happened, but it did. One day I realized I could laugh without forcing myself. I could walk past a couple holding hands without wanting to hurt one of them. I actually wanted to go out with my friends.

                I still miss you. There are some days when it hits me all at once and I am struck with the overwhelming urge to cry. But, it doesn’t last. I’m doing better. I can live without you.

                I met someone. He’s so different than you, it’s almost funny. But we fit so perfectly together. I felt guilty at first, like I was cheating on you. I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I was being unfaithful.

                But, you’re not coming back. I’ve accepted that now. And, I’ve forgiven you. I understand now. You didn’t choose to leave me. You chose to fight for something bigger than us, chose to stand up for what you believed in.

                It wasn’t your fault you had to leave me.

                I’m not angry anymore. My life is good, just as you hoped it would be. Just as you asked me to make it. Robert’s a wonderful guy. You would like him. And, you would be proud of me. Proud of the things I’m doing, proud of me for doing so well. But, it’s time for me to let you go. To truly say goodbye. So, here it is:

                Good bye, Ethan.

                Rest in peace.

And, there you have it!! Let me know what you thought in comments below!!! :D