A Comprehensive Guide to NaNoWriMo

NaNoWrio official promo graphics ©NaNoWriMo

Hello, my lovelies!!

It’s almost November!! It is for those of us who are gearing up for NaNoWriMo, anyway (though, if you’re like me, you’ve been geared up for this since December 1st of last year).

Or there’s a good chance you’re scratching your head right now wondering why on earth I’m jumping up and down excited for what looks like some weird jumble of letters that make no sense.

What is NaNoWriMo?

According to the official website: National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing. 

On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm, determination, and a deadline, NaNoWriMo is for anyone who has ever thought about writing a novel.

In order to participate, all you need to do is create an account, fill out the information about your novel, and then when November 1st comes you sit down and start writing. Then over the course of the month you keep writing and writing and writing until you write 50,000 words that month.

Crazy, I know.

Why 50,000?

Any work that is 50,000 words or over is officially considered a novel. Anything under 50,000 words falls either into the novella or the short story category depending on the word count. So it’s 50,000 words because it’s National Novel Writing Month, not National Short Story Month or National Novella Month.

Why Do It?

In the end you write about 1,666 words a day. Which is a lot of words. And writing an entire novel in a month isn’t anything to sneeze at. So why do it?

There are a lot of reasons actually, each person who participates most likely has a slightly different reason. But some common reasons are that people find the deadline appealing- it pushes you to keep writing and keeps you from over-editing as you write- and the competition- while anyone who reaches 50,000 is a winner there is still that same feeling of competition any challenge has, even if that competition is really only with yourself in this case.

It’s also just really nice to know there are so many people around the world writing at the same time as you and trying to accomplish the same goal.

So Is It Right For Me?

I don’t know. I know a lot of people who love it- I’m one of those people- and I know a lot of people who will never, ever do it again or who flat-out refuse to even try it in the first place. It’s not a one-size-fits-all sort of a deal and there are a lot of things to consider before you just jump in.

If you want to determine if it’s right for you or not, ask yourself these questions:

Do You Write Well Under Pressure?

I like deadlines and write better when I have a goal that is forcing me to sit down and write a certain amount of words per day. If I don’t have a set word count I end up writing about a hundred words and then calling it a day because I’m tired or I have something else to do or I just don’t feel like it.

NaNoWriMo makes me focus and forces me to write. It also helps me to recognize what are actual priorities and what are nothing but excuses not to write.

Other writers find that the pressure of NaNoWriMo doesn’t fit their writing style. Some writers work better writing slowly, editing as they go. Some have a limited amount of time and don’t like to be told how many words they need to write in that small window. Some find the word count makes them focus too hard on quantity rather than quality to the point of making the story almost ineditable.

Do You Struggle with Over-Editing While You Write?

Do you tend to get hung up on editing as you write to the point that it keeps you from moving forward? Do you find your “inner editor” brings crippling self-doubt that causes you to get discouraged and give up?

NaNoWriMo forces you to keep the “just keep writing” mentality. You don’t have time to edit and you don’t have time to ask too many questions about your story. So what if that one line isn’t perfect? So what is that scene isn’t quite right? So what if that one part of your plot might need tweaking? Just. Keep. Writing. You can always edit it later.

And a lot of times I end up finding that the things I hated while I was writing them aren’t so bad when I read them over again a month or two later. Sometimes all you need is to keep writing and edit later and NaNoWriMo forces you to do that.

Other writers find they work better writing a polished first draft, editing as they go. So something that is forcing them to write fast and edit later just doesn’t work. For NaNoWriMo there is a daily word count to meet each day and if you don’t meet your word count the count for the next day just goes up in order for you to stay on track. When you write better polishing as you write, having the pressure of doing that while also meeting a high word count each day can be the death of your novel and your creativity.

Do You Like to Explore as You Write or Outline Every Last Detail?

Part of what I love about writing is exploring as I write. I like solving problems on the fly and figuring out where I need to go in the moment. Since I have a word count to meet each day, NaNoWriMo forces me to make decisions in my story or just keep writing through the plot holes. This keeps me from overanalyzing the story as I write and questioning every single action.

Without a push to keep writing I would give up stories because I just didn’t know what I wanted to do or I would put off actually taking the time to work through the problems. This way I have a deadline and I don’t have an excuse to keep from fixing what needs fixed right now.

Similarly, NaNoWriMo also works well for people who outline extensively in advance and need a push to actually sit down and get the words on the page. If you have a plan you’re confident in but just want an added push to help you execute it, this might be the thing for you. The story is all planned out from start to finish, you just need to actually sit down and write it. NaNoWriMo can help you do that.

NaNoWriMo doesn’t tend to work for those who like to explore as they write but also do well with taking their time in solving problems. Some writers might work on their stories daily, but only do actual writing every few days or so. In between they might be outlining what’s to come, polishing what came before, and figuring out their characters and the direction their story is taking.

So Is It Right For Me?

Only you can decide that. You know yourself and what works for you and what doesn’t. Only you know if NaNoWriMo will help your writing or harm it.

But my advice would be that if you work better at your own pace and thrive by making your own schedule, then I would suggest skipping this. Better to stick with what works for you than risk hurting your novel. Because most people I know who have done NaNoWriMo and discovered it wasn’t right for them, they tend to wind up trashing the novel they wrote that month because they feel that it was ruined.

But if the intensive pressure and competition sound like something that might be good for you and your writing, I would highly recommend giving it a try.

How?

First, create an account on the NaNoWriMo website. From there you’ll be given instructions on how to do things like create your novel (tell the world what you’ll be writing), join the forums (connect with writers from all over the world), and join a local region (connect with writers in your area). I haven’t interacted on the forums before but I attended a couple of local things last year and would highly recommend them.

What Do I Do Before November?

Anything but write.

The weeks leading up to November are great for planning as much as you want. I usually make a Pinterest board to use for inspiration when I get stuck, a playlist to listen to while I write or to keep my creative juices flowing when I’m not writing, and do whatever research I know I’m going to need to do for this story.

You can also use these months for character sketches, any outlining you might want to do, those sorts of things. If you are a planner, get planning now.

These weeks are also really good to take things off your schedule that you might be able to ahead of time- for instance, I’m trying to use them to get some blog posts written ahead of time so I have more time to devote to novel writing. Obviously you can’t put your life on hold for a novel but if there are things you can take care of now instead of later, these next few weeks are the time to do that.

And What Do I Do In November?

Write.

Sit down at your computer or pull out your notebook and pen/pencil and write. And just keep writing until you hit 50,000 words. Then if there’s more story left to do, keep on writing that. Write until the book is done.

So What Do I Do After November?

We’ll talk about that when November is over ;)

Conclusion:

NaNoWriMo isn’t for everyone. But if the fast-paced frenzy of the month sounds like something you’d be interested in, be sure to check out the official NaNoWriMo website for more information.

I’m excited to be participating this year and I hope you’ll be joining me. Or, I hope you’re wise enough to recognize that this isn’t for you and you find another way to boost your creativity. Whatever the case, I hope November is a productive month for you.

If you have any further questions about NaNoWriMo be sure to drop them in the comments and I would be happy to answer them!

I’ll be back on Friday with yet another book in the Princess Tales. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

P.S. Let’s Chat! Who else is excited for NaNoWriMo? What story are you planning to work on?

How to Write Women: A Guide

Hello, my lovelies!!

Several weeks ago I was talking to a young woman I have had the pleasure of seeing grow up. She’s still young- in high school- but she has come so far and grown so much and I am so proud of the woman she is growing into.

I want nothing but the best for her. She is an incredible young woman who is going to go so far and do all sorts of amazing things. She’s talented, has the sweetest heart, and is so very insightful.

So you can imagine my concern when she expressed to me that she’s been struggling with the way girls are portrayed in media. Because while she’s smart enough to say “That’s not how I’m supposed to be” there are so many girls who don’t have that wisdom.

The Tests:

It has been the curse of females everywhere to read novels and see a cast of strong, well-written men, to watch movies with deep portrayals of male protagonists, and then when we look for stories with similarly written females we come up short.

In the writing/literary world we have this thing called the Bechdel test. The requirements for a story to pass this test are simple enough- the story must have two female characters, both of whom are named, and they need to have at least one conversation with each other about something other than a man.

It really should be easy for stories to pass this test, but it’s actually so hard that the writing world has come up with another easier test- the Sexy Lamp test. In order to administer this test, you need to imagine the female in the story is replaced with an inanimate object. It fails if the story is still largely the same even though one of its major characters has been all but removed.

The Tropes:
Why? For a world with a huge number of female writers why is it so hard to find women who are well-written? Why do little girls have to find themselves gravitating to male characters as favorites not because they just happen to prefer that character but because the females put in front of them are confusing and frustrating?

For years the majority of girls in stories were reduced to the love interest or damsel in distress in the story. In classics if the protagonist is a male there is a good chance the girl’s role will be to help the main character in his own growth and spiritual awakening but she herself is nothing more than a symbol.

In later years there has been a new wave of females written specifically to counteract these portrayals of old. They are the “strong,” “independent” females who have trouble making friends with other women because these other girls are too silly or immature or girly for them and the extent of their character development at the start of their story is to say as often as they can, “I don’t want to get married.”

Because the desire to be married, obviously, makes you far from strong or independent.

The Mixed Messages:

The Mama Bear trope is often considered to be the pinnacle of fierceness. And yet in stories we’re told that getting married and having babies makes you weak. How does that make sense?

The things we see in the world around us- the good, beautiful, inspiring things- are the ones we’re told in stories are bad, bad things. We’re told we’re weak for wanting a relationship, companionship, and that not only can I never be a strong independent female for wanting those things but no other strong independent female will ever want to be my friend if I want them.

We teach girls to either compete with each other for man’s affection or to isolate ourselves from other girls because we’re too good for them. Our ideals are so much more enlightened than theirs that we can’t even stoop to talk to them, that’s how far beneath us they are.

We constantly tout the idea that violence isn't the answer but a female who isn't a warrior- who can't wield a sword or hold her own in a fist fight- is said to be weak, isn't a role model or someone to be admired. A female who is diplomatic is considered weak or the writers feel the need to also throw in that while she mostly uses her words she can still definitely take you down if you cross her.

We counteract stories that teach girls to compete with each other with stories that tell girls to be loners. We feed into the idea of girls being petty, manipulative, and drama-seekers instead of encouraging girls to cultivate friendships with the women around them. To learn from them. To seek relationships that aren’t romantic, pure and innocent and healthy relationships.

So how are we supposed to write women, you ask?

Write People:
Stop writing “women” and start writing “people.”

The problem with most female characters isn’t that they want to get married or they don’t. The problem is that their character development begins and ends there. We have reduced females in stories to sexy lamps who have no purpose save to look pretty or friendless parrots who say the same thing over and over again because people think that’s what we need and want to hear.

But what we really want and need is for our gender to no longer be used in stories to prove a point or serve as an example or symbol for us as a whole.

Women are all different- we're lawyers and soldiers and housewives and warriors. Some of us are soft and gentle and could never use a weapon if we tried. Some of us were practically born with us a weapon in our hands. Some of us are good with our words and want to use them to change the world. Some of us are called to fight for our country and what we believe in. Some of us are different mixes of those things.

Even if you believe in gender roles and women having a certain position in the world that doesn’t make them all the same. We’re individuals who want to be treated as such. When we read a story we don’t want to read about a cardboard cutout of what someone things we ought to be. We want to read about an individual person who might be vastly different than us but feels real and complex. We’ve been reading about guys for years, after all, so reading about women who are different from us isn’t going to be that much of a shock to our systems.

What Makes the Tick?

See there is actually nothing wrong with the damsel in distress or the girl who states over and over again that she doesn’t want to get married. There are women in this world who are those ways and there is nothing wrong with having characters like that in a story.

But make them people. Why is the damsel in distress the way she is? I would actually love to see a story where this trope is done without it being a trope. I would love to see a damsel in distress who feels like a real, honest individual with hopes and insecurities and dreams and weaknesses.

Or the woman who doesn’t want to get married. Why does she feel that way? Because she is modern and enlightened isn’t an actual reason. A modern and enlightened woman can also be a stay-at-home mom- the two are not mutually exclusive. Or maybe this character does just simply not have that desire. But what desires does she have? What are her strengths? What are her weaknesses?

Give Them a Balance:
Oftentimes, to counteract the portrayals of women as weak nobodies, these female characters who are portrayed as strong and independent don’t have weaknesses. They are shown almost as if they are the pinnacle of womanhood. They’re strong and fierce and don’t need anyone to do anything for them and they aren’t ever weak or insecure and have no flaws whatsoever.

Which basically is just taking the male adventure hero trope that people like to complain about, changing the character from a male to a female, and rebranding it as a good thing.

Write women with weaknesses. Write women with flaws. Write women who are insecure and vulnerable and frail. Write women who are strong. Independent. Fierce. But make them a believable balance of the positive and negative.

I want a woman who is fierce but flawed. Independent but insecure. Strong in some places but weak in others.

But also remember that not every women is an exact balance. Making her a happily married woman who also knows how to hold her own in a fighting arena is also just a trope if she's not developed. And again, there are different definitions of strength so while you can make your woman a warrior also consider there are a lot of women out there who have strengths in other places.

Again, Write People:
Forget tropes and start writing people like people. Make your characters real with hopes and aspirations, flaws and insecurities. Give them a history. Give them dreams for the future. Give them friends or make them lonely. Give them friends and make them lonely at the same time.

Look at the world around you, at all the intricate layers of humanity. Look at how detailed every individual’s personality is and then take a long, hard look at your own characters. Can they be replaced with an inanimate object or are they too complex to be compare with something like a lamp?

Male or female remember that your characters are people before they are anything else. They aren’t a symbol or a stereotype or a standard for everyone else.

So write them as such.

If you need some help with where to start with this, be sure to check out my post about outlining characters.

I hope to see you on Friday for my latest review! And until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

P.S. Let’s chat! What are some problems you see with the way women are written? Who are some of your favorite female characters or female characters you think are written the best?

How to Connect With Non-Writers: A Guide

This post is dedicated to all the people in my life who aren’t writers but put up with me and my craziness anyway: 
Most importantly- Mom and Dad, thank you for everything. You are appreciated more than you will know. And Danielle and Stephie, you too are appreciated beyond words.

Hello, my lovelies!

Last week I talked to non-writers about how to talk to writers and this week I wanted to flip that around and discuss how writers can talk to people who don’t write.

As I mentioned last week we writers are a strange bunch. We’re full of quirks and idiosyncrasies, our mind working in ways that are complicated and confusing. We live in so many different worlds and stories and characters are as part of us as our childhood home or our church. We’re connected to fictional people and places and we create worlds and control lives with nothing but words.

So when the time comes to pull ourselves from those fictional places and we’re forced to interact with “normal” people, how do we do that? How do we talk to someone who doesn’t understand us and can’t even begin to?

Get Rid of That Attitude:

First and foremost, set aside the idea that someone who doesn’t write can’t understand you. Obviously the way your brain is wired is different than the brain of someone who isn’t a writer; that doesn’t mean your brain is more complex than theirs or more interesting.

One of my closest friends laughed at me and told me “no” when I told her she had a really good idea and she should write a book. She has no interest in being a writer and has no intention of changing her mind anytime soon.

I still love her to pieces. She lets me ramble to her about my stories and tells me to go write when I tell her I haven’t made my word count for the day. She teases me and coaxes me and bribes me to write. She gets excited for me when I reach a major milestone and is there for me when I’m stuck and need someone to commiserate with me.

She might not be a writer, but she’s there. She has made an effort to understand me and make my life a part of hers.

And then, as I mentioned in the dedication, my parents and sister have gone out of their way to let me be who I am, to understand me, to keep up with the way my brain works, and to not only tolerate but encourage my writing to thrive. So don’t ever think your brain is too special or weird for other people to understand. It’s not and you are so much better off for it.

Stop Making Writing Your Identity:

My brother-in-law isn’t a writer. But he codes like nobody’s business and understands the language of computers on a level I will never even begin to understand. He understands math and science when those things just make my head spin.

That doesn’t mean one of us has a better brain and that doesn’t mean that one of us is superior to the other. And it certainly doesn’t mean we can’t understand each other. I might not understand his coding just as he might not understand my writing. But neither of those things is who we are. Those are merely things we do.

It’s really easy for us as people to take on labels and make them our identity. But while I might be a daughter, a writer, a teacher, and a friend none of those things is my sole purpose or identity. While I might have different hobbies or interests, none of those things define me indefinitely.

It’s really easy to hide behind your writing identity- I say this as someone who is insecure and likes to hide behind anything I can get my hands on. So it’s easy to use your writing as a shield to keep everyone else at bay, to put a level of fantasy between yourself and reality.

But in the end, just like anything else, that box becomes so constricting and it will keep you from meaningful relationships.

Get Rid of the “Us” and “Them” Mentality:

I spend a lot of time with writers. They are “my people” and being with them I feel accepted and understood. In last week’s post I mentioned the judgement that often comes from the questions of non-writers and being around people who you know aren’t going to ask you those same questions is refreshing. You can be yourself- your strange, quirky self- and not have to worry about people judging you.

But guess what? People who don’t write are strange too. She insists she’s normal, but let me tell you, my sister is as quirky as they come (I mean that in the best way possible). She has all those little things about her that make her who she is and it’s wonderful.

But too often as writers we get so excited about the acceptance we find within our own “tribe” that we write off (no pun intended) relationships with people who don’t write, people who aren’t like us, because going out on that limb and making those connections is hard.

Life isn’t about finding our tribe. It’s about meeting people where they are and appreciating the unique perspective they bring to life. It would be super weird if the only reason my dad and I were able to have a relationship was because I worked that one summer at the same mortgage company as him. Or how out-there would it be if my mom’s only friends were other crossing guards?

My mom and I, we’re wired very differently and because of that she helps me see things I never would have otherwise. She keeps me grounded and brings strength to my weaknesses. She’s able to look at certain things more objectively than I am and I need her to offer that perspective.

Remember People Can’t Read Your Mind:

I asked some non-writers in my life about what they might want us writers to understand or keep in mind when talking to them. And there seemed to be a common theme in their answers.

Remember that people aren’t inside your head. When you start talking about a story the person you’re talking to doesn’t automatically know what story that’s from. And if you don’t specify that a character is fictional, people might even think you’re talking about a real person!

I tend to jump around from story to story when I’m writing and I just assume my family can keep up. But unfortunately, for all his amazing efforts to do so, my dad can’t if I tell him Thursday evening about the story I’m working and then switch to another story Friday morning without warning. When I start talking about the new story on Friday evening, he has no idea that I switched. He wasn’t there in my brain that morning or reading over my shoulder all day- thankfully- and so in his mind we’re still on the story from Thursday evening.

Same goes for fictional characters- just because you told your sister about that one character that one time, when you start talking about Sarah two weeks later she isn’t going to know who you’re talking about. And she’s quite possibly going to assume you’re talking about a mutual acquaintance with that name or that Sarah is someone you met recently. And just because she askes “Who’s Sarah???” in that tone that says she has no idea what you’re talking about, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. It means she’s confused because she can’t read your mind. She doesn’t know Sarah isn’t a real person. She doesn’t know Sarah is yet another one of your characters in a very long line of your characters.

So just remember people can’t read your mind. Nor do they have any way of keeping up with it if you don’t explain things to them. It just takes a little extra mindfulness on your part and maybe an extra sentence or two. “So I switched stories I’m working on. I’m writing a sci-fi about cats who live on Mars. [Proceed into whatever you wanted to say]” or “You might remember me telling you about my character Sarah- she lives during the Great Depression and she and her brother are trying to find their father. [Proceed with whatever you wanted to say about her]”

In the End, Remember Life Isn’t About Writing:

A lot of my life revolves around writing- besides my own writing I also teach writing, blog about writing, read books to review so I dissect them on how they were written, and assist other with their own stories and writing. And when I’m not doing those things I’m consuming media and looking for the story in it just because that’s how my brain is wired- books, movies, shows, music, even television commercials.

But in the midst of all that God has been working in me to remind me that all those things that mean so much to me aren’t always the most important thing in the world. Not every situation needs me to analyze it from a literary angle and I don’t always need to equate everything to something that happens to one of my own characters or some other fictional character I love.

Sometimes my stories get in the way. Sometimes I get so caught up in fiction and the lives and problems of fictional people that I forget to be invested in the moment. I forget to look at the people in front of me- to really look at them and see them as something more than inspiration.

Remember to hit pause on your stories sometimes. Remember to hit play on life. Instead of going into conversations afraid of being judged, look for opportunities to learn about the people in front of you. Who are they, besides someone who has decided opinions about your chosen career or hobby? What makes them tick? What are their passions? What makes them laugh? What did they struggle with this week? What are they dreading or looking forward to in the week to come?

Look for opportunities to connect with people. If they were a fictional character you’d be all over getting to know them. Take that same interest in the people around you and you might actually find that they’re just as complex and intriguing as fiction. They too have stories to tell, if you only listen.

I hope to see you all on Friday for another review. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess

P.S. Let’s Chat! As a non-writer, what are some things you wish writers would understand? Or, as a writer, what are some things you’ve been learning lately about interacting with people?

How To Talk To Writers: A Guide

Hello my lovelies!

Today I wanted to talk about writers.

We’re a strange breed, don’t you think?

We can be introverted or extroverted, young or old. We come in all shapes, sizes, and races. The only thing we all really have in common is we’re all creatives who have a story (or several stories) to tell.

Also, we can be hard to talk to.

Now some of this is on us. We can be intimidating to talk to because writing, while a common enough career choice, isn’t one people come in contact with all the time. Writers are like garbage workers- you know they exist but how often do you really meet one?

And when you don’t come in contact with us very often it’s understandable that it can be hard to know what to say to us. And while it’s certainly a generalization and one that by no means applies to all writers, a lot of times we’re introverted individuals. We can be quiet, reserved, shy, whatever you want to call it. So when you start talking to us, while you’re being friendly, we’re a little nervous and what is coming across as maybe disinterest, snobbery, or shortness is nothing more than anxiety.

Introverted or extroverted, we’re wondering if you’re judging us. Because we’ve all been judged before. Are you going to tell me my career choice is a bad one? Are you going to make that same “joke” everyone makes about how you hope I like to starve or that I need to get used to rejection? Are you going to tell me that I should be writing this new idea you came up with the other day? Are you going to ask why I don’t just self-publish my books because you have a cousin who did that and it’s so easy?

But what else are you supposed to say? How are you supposed to talk to these strange and oh-so-fascinating individuals?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Please Don’t Ask If We’re Still Writing:

Chances are if you talked to me a few months ago about my writing or you remember my mom mentioning it to you when you saw her at the store last week, then yes. I am still writing. Writing is a very important thing to me so when asked if I still am it comes across that maybe it isn’t obvious how seriously I take my writing. And that hurts. I want to make this a career so when asked about it as if it’s merely a passing craze can be a bit annoying.

Also the answer to that question is a one word “Yes.” I’m not sure if you actually care more about that and want me to elaborate or if you’re just being polite and would hate it if I went into detail about my writing.

Instead Maybe Ask:

“What are you writing?” If I’m not working on something it will be no different than the question above where I say I’m not and we move on. But there is a very high chance I’m working on something and I am usually very excited to talk about it. I have an answer to that question.

Other questions that are good to ask are “So what exactly do you love so much about writing?” “Why are your characters special to you?” “What does your writing routine look like?” “How often do you sit down to write?” or really any question directed to get the writer to talk about their writing. If you have questions we would rather you ask those, would rather share that part of our lives with you, than have you ask a question with a one word answer.

Please Don’t Make Jokes About Our Choices:

We know writing is hard. We know making a career out of it will likely pay little and that we might even have to get another job to support ourselves. We know that rejection letters are a common thing and we are going to have to accept them. We know. Any friendly advice you feel the need to offer in the form of a joke we have heard before. So many times before.

And it hurts, honestly. When you tell us you work at a bank or as a teacher or a secretary or in retail or customer service or any other career that isn’t in the arts we don’t make jokes about those. Or we shouldn’t. You know how annoying it is when people make jokes about your job or talk about it like they know more than you do. It’s the same with writers. Ours is a career choice like any other.

Instead Maybe Ask:

Again, ask why we’ve chosen that career. It’s crazy if you think about it- we know we’ve chosen a job that may never make us any money. We understand the truth behind the starving artist stereotype. So why, knowing what we know, have we still chosen to follow that career? Instead of assuming it’s because we’re delusional or don’t understand what we’re getting into, ask us what our reasons are.

Because trust me, we have them. There are as many reasons as there are writers but I promise that every writer has their reasons. So if you want to know, please ask. We would love to tell you our reasons.

Please Don’t Tell Us Which Publishing Path to Take:

A lot of times when the fact that we’re a writer comes up, we’re asked about publishing. Have we done it? Do we plan to? What route are we going to take?

Publishing is a very complex world and one that should never be entered lightly (as I discuss at length here). Just because your cousin Martha self-published doesn’t mean it is right for every writer you come into contact with. In fact, there are a lot of writers it isn’t good for. But a lot of young, impressionable writers don’t know that and it is the people who don’t understand the publishing industry, who tell these writers that self-publishing "is a wonderful option!" that end up hurting writers in the end.

Writers need to do their research and seek the advice of professionals before they take any steps toward publishing. Just as we don’t tell you how to work toward getting a promotion at work, so too non-writers really shouldn’t be telling writers how to go about publishing their work. Self-publishing is something that needs to be approached with absolute surety that it is the right option for the writer. It's not right for everyone and if it isn’t right for a writer then doing it can hurt their chances of publishing traditionally in the future.

So please, if you take one thing away from this, please stop telling writers to self-publish.

Instead Maybe Ask:

What our publishing plans are. We’re either going to say traditional publishing, self-publishing, we don’t plan to publish, or we’re not sure. From there you have so many questions you can ask us! Why have we chosen the path that we did? If we don’t plan to publish then what drives us to still write consistently? Ask us what steps traditional or self-publishing entail and how we plan to approach them.

There are so many complexities to publishing and if we have the answers we would love to share them with you. So please don’t assume you know more than we do about any of this and instead maybe listen? Or if you want to share profound wisdom with us about something, tell us about your own job. I’m sure whatever career you’re in I know next to nothing about it and I would rather you tell me about it than you tell me how to do my own job.

Please Don’t Tell Us What to Write:

This one happens all the time. Someone finds out we’re a writer and their first response to it is “I had this idea that you should write.”

The problem with this is that most times it isn’t a genre we write. I write Young Adult Fairy Tale Retellings. Romantic Adventure Comedy is my preferred genre to write in and I write stories that are driven by characters and their interactions more so than plot. So when you start telling me about that hard sci-fi idea you had that I really need to write I honestly get overwhelmed. I can’t write hard sci-fi. I didn’t grow up with it and haven’t fully gotten into it since. So while I can appreciate it as a genre it’s not one I understand enough to actually write a story in. So you telling me I need to write the story puts me in a very awkward position.

How do I tell you no without it coming across that I hate the idea? But how do I tell you that I like the idea without it coming across that I plan to write it? I start to panic then and look for a very quick way out of this conversation. Which is sad, because I really did enjoy talking to you before this.

Instead Maybe:

Either ask about what we do write and what sort of things we’re working on or else just tell us you have an idea you’d like to write someday. Your idea probably isn’t a bad one; it’s just not something we want to write. Don’t take it personally.

And even if it is in the genre the person writes that doesn’t mean they have to love it to make it worth something. Sometimes an idea just doesn’t click for a certain writer. That doesn’t make it a bad idea, it just means that isn’t the writer to write it.

Please Don’t Ask Questions Out of Judgement:

As I have stated again and again, we writers really don’t like to be judged. No one likes being judged.

When I asked my writer friends what some things were they would like to be asked by non-writers or things they hated being asked the theme that popped up the most was that it wasn’t always the questions so much as how the question was asked.

“So why do you write?” can be a very loaded question. If you ask it out of genuine curiosity it makes us happy because we can share a piece of ourselves with you. But when asked out of judgement because you don’t deem it a worthy endeavor we pick up on that and it makes us not really want to continue with the conversation.

Same goes for any question you ask really.

Instead Maybe:

Ask out of genuine curiosity with a desire to hear our answers and have a conversation or change the subject. We aren’t going to be offended if you don’t want to talk about our writing.

Writing is a very personal thing to us. It is important and valuable and we are learning how to use it to say what we want to say, how to tell stories as we seek to understand the role stories play in our society, and how to understand ourselves and the people around us. It means something to us and it hurts when someone comes along and tells us condescendingly that they don’t approve of our choices.

We don’t ask you why you became a bank teller or a waitress or a mother or a sales clerk. We don’t offer snide comments and pointed looks about your wages or whether you offer anything of value to society. And if we do it’s wrong of us to do so. So very wrong.

So please, don’t do the same to us. Either seek to understand us or move on with your life. We have ourselves figured out and assuming that we don’t isn’t going to benefit either of us.

Thank You:

Some of my favorite people in the world are the ones who don’t write and don’t understand it at all but have taken the time to care because it means something to me. So to everyone I know who has played that role in my life, thank you.

And if you have a writer in your life, seek to play that role for them. I promise, we’re not so strange once you get to know us. We really do make sense, I swear.

What are some things you have learned from the writers in your life that you might not understand otherwise?

I hope to see you on Friday for a new book review. Until the next time we meet, don’t forget to live happily ever after <3

~Jennifer Sauer, the Ivory Palace Princess